The sound of silence
can fill a room
the atmosphere
clouded in gloom
anger permeates the air
not said, but its there
Dec 22, 2012
Felt
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
This is the best poem of yours I have read.
No mushy stuff, no wasted words.
It's not entirely original, but what is in 12000 years of human literature?
Go for the sparsity and economy of words.
Bloody welll done.
To be honest, when I read your first works they kind of tingled but seemed soppy. I think you are growing as a poet.
thanks a mil Jess appreciated
thanks a mil Jess appreciated glad u liked this little one have a merry christmas and a merrier new year all the best
Sue
Hi Sue
I'll go out on a limb and make a suggestion on a free verse poem (which I'm not that good at). That last line... maybe unstated or unsaid instead of not said. Just an idea from an old rhymer lol. But I Do like the brevity in getting the point across.................stan
thanks so much Stan glad u
thanks so much Stan glad u liked this one have a gr8 christmas
all the best
Sue x
thanks so much Mark so glad u
thanks so much Mark so glad u enjoyed have a gr8 christmas x
A humdinger short and sweet.
A humdinger short and sweet. The best
thanks glad u enjoyed this
thanks glad u enjoyed this one all the best sueb x
Sueb
A very good thought, put to words.
There is a cliché of something like "You could cut the atmosphere with a knife"
You have regenerated it.
Well done, Yours Ian.T
thanks Ian T glad u enjoyed
thanks Ian T glad u enjoyed this little one all the best sueb x