I've conversed in rhyme
through thought and meaning
needling the hidden stitch
which unravels in verse.
Difficult themes taken from
shallow streams, interrogating
connotation a confessor of
truths, the sterile and the rhetoric.
Speaking of the gray impending
doom meets light of day,
my inner nature this
intolerant creator.
Impressions broil not perfumed
some considered choice cuts
consumed, what never was is
not what can't viewing patterns
from a different slant.
De-send here on my written
page with piety or rage
within just cause I've pondered
and paused.
Comments
Zigs
Zigs,
I knew it wouldn't be long until you posted this 'gem' of a poem. It reads even better in the bright lights of Neopoet.
I have already commented on this piece and its structure and subject matter before, so I won't bore you with it all again...just know I think you've really captured something special with this piece.
Fantastic title!
The opening stanza is my favourite still:
I've conversed in rhyme
through thought and meaning
needling the hidden stitch
which unravels in verse.
I like the last line of the verse unravelling...wondeful!
Kind regards,
HS
hi hood
its always great to get your comment
as always you see them first , lol
you know my thoughts behind this
thanks again ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
Zigs
Zigs,
there will be a 'comment/shout-box' on the website so all your work posted will be able to be commented on just like here.
Xmas Eve is still the target date for launch...will be my Xmas present to you for your valuable input with all my writes.
HS
hi hood
wow that sounds interesting can't wait, I think you've given me more help
than I have given you but I do enjoy the banter , it's an honour to be involved
in your web site! which I know how much it means to you I am excited to see
it trive and I will do what I can , limited as I am lol,,,,,,,,zig
hi again
I frogot to say THANK YOU for yet another title that I used
cheers mate , also if your going to use this poem , use this
edit as there is a sutle word change since lol , you know me
I never consider a piece finished on rereads ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
Zigs
Zigs,
I have now edited the poem to use this version.
Thanks,
HS
Zigs
I agree with everything HS has said, this poem is faultless
Chat soon !!!
Louise
hi again
hi, cheers for stopping by you have a good xmas my dear ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
ziggy
this is written in such a way, that the beauty of the diction is unsurpassed. I am truly impressed. this is how I would like to write. I would love for my poems to roll off the tonque and pass the lips so effordlessly.
thanks for sharing!
Always Eddie
hi
hi wow what a comment thank you so much, this is about my self
I don't normally write about my self, but I was without my laptop for
ages and was just looking for another theme to write on lol
I don't often get such a great comment like yours thank you so much,
how the words sound is always what I strive for,,,,,,,,zigs
ziggy
I have found if you place what you feel about the subject as the thym you can never go wrong, because it is what you feel,
and what YOU feel is better conveyed in your write.
happy holiday
always Eddie
hi again
yes taking feelings and transforming them into words
is what it's all about , happy holidays from ireland ,,,,,,,,,,zigs
hi Ziggy
I so enjoyed the beginning of this poem it led me into the rest in such a strong way and with a great flow to the words. I perhaps stumbled a little at 'not what cant viewing patterns' I made a pause after cant and then tried without it which didn't work, was wondering just how you saw that part being read? It's a strong theme that I enjoyed.
hi there
cheers for the comment I just made a tweak to this
so it came back in to stream again you mentioned this
line "what never was is
not what can't viewing patterns
from a different slant.,,,,,,,,,,,,it needs to be read like that I guess
glad you enjoyed this cheers ,,,,,,,,zigs