judyanne
judyanne
Oct 12, 2012
This poem is part of the workshop:

Mindful Memorable Freeform: The Challenge

(Read More...)

precious memories

as a stranger answers to your name
precious moments tumble
forever re-arrange
at their desire
events to play over in my mind

connect me with eternity
immerse me in the
emotional maelstrom
of love and pain that
had me crumble
under strain of under fire

suffocated by the veils of time
mixed with memories formed easily
omnipresent in my own magical
keepsake kingdom --

momentous or humble,
evenly strummed on evermore's lyre
nurtured
as is a well mellowed wine

'til they are ready to be
sung to the beat
of my own heart's drum

the dream is almost over
I will wake soon
forsaking
escaping
the broken crystal
taking pain
from the
empty
frightened heart
.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many

More from this author

Comments

docmaverick

...learn something from one of your efforts, this was no exception. There's something rather lovely about the cadence you used in this piece. Maybe another word for one of the "unders" in the one line; but other than that, I really liked this....plus;
I truly enjoyed this aloud, as well;
doc.

judyanne

for the very kind and supportive comments

lol - that 'under' line is my favourite....
so i won't be changing it (unless others agree with you then i might - think about it that is lol)

love judy
xxx

loved

loved

12 years 6 months ago

suffocated by the veils of time
mixed with memories formed easily
omnipresent in my own magical
keepsake kingdom --

Just b e a u t f u l......llleerrrrr....

Candlewitch

memories can bring joy or pain, some are bittersweet.I love how you have structured this piece! My favorite lines are:

connect me with eternity
immerse me in the
emotional maelstrom
of love and pain that
had me crumble
under strain of under fire

You weave enchantment.
love, Cat

judyanne

thanks so much for that oh so supportive but very probably not so true comment
lol - i'm sure i've written more than a few bad ones

love judy
xxx

loved

loved

12 years 6 months ago

i picked up the same lines Judy just wonderful composition

suffocated by the veils of time
mixed with memories
formed easily
omnipresent
in my own magical
keepsake kingdom --

docmaverick

...(of the moment, of course- must remain politically correct!)....what I was mentioning was, when you so very kindly said to me, "Those last two stanzas take my breath!"
I merely meant that, it's quite, the kindest of remarks, that's all.
Salutations to your OBVIOUS regal tastes in prose, and poetry!
Thanx, again.
Sincerely,
doc.
#{ :->{ )