luxurious aromas mingle
in tall mahagony rooms
cognac snifters clink
and twinkle
in the glint of chandeliers
as for me,
I'm tipsy
leaning cooly in a corner
twisted in irony
bored
and condescending
then I see her
and I'm suddenly intrigued
womaness aglow
latticed in spicey red heels
playing it haute and haughty
deeply lost in a reverie of hopefulness
and I want to hold her
enfold her
gently
in my arms
that, or either
slap her out of it
Comments
lol - made me laugh
great write , great descriptive, great finish
nothing i can see to offer to assist al
- except for the title - doesn't really fit the poem for me... but i may be missing something?
love judy
xxx
thanks Judy
thanks Judy
now about the title! I once received a critique on a highly descriptive verse of a poem, somewhat like this one, and she called the verse tense and panicy for some reason I still don't understand.
As I wrote this piece that came to mind, so I just played on it as a working title, and never thought to change it. Thanks for reminding me how arbitrary and incoherent it must sound to others.
Now I have to wrack my brain for another...UNLESS, you wrack yours and come up with one!
with deep appreciation for your time and thoughts,