scribbler
Dec 08, 2010

THE STAND

In hoary woods I sit alone
hardly breathing, quiet and still
breeze sings a mournful monotone
penetrating bones with sneaky chill

There's little warmth in winter's sun
within this sky of clear deep blue
above a world of gray and dun
where yellow flowers one time grew

Yet this watch I still must stay
and attempt to stay alert
if need be 'till the end of day
while wearing camo coat and shirt

Within this land of ice and frost
lurks food to last through winter time
so I remain, ignore the cost
of keeping in this gelid clime

At last I hear a far twig break
and catch a glimpse of stealthy gray
luck hasn't chosen to forsake
me on an otherwise bleak day

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

The hunter was on stand hunting a deer to supply his family with venison through the winter. I am very aware that hunting is not well thought of by many here, but find myself drawn to write of it any way............scribbler

S

" lurks sustanence through winter time " I thought that explained the need for the hunt, but will consider making it plainer in edit...........scribbler

loved

loved

14 years 4 months ago

the policy u read me
i read u

well then i read two

u read one

thanks stan to u

and shirley
who has just returned2222222222222222222

S

So good of you to come by. I read about all your writes but often am short on time to comment not only on yours but others' poetry...........scribbler

S

Alas, there are many people who don't understand that humans have a place in the predator-prey scheme and since so many other predators are now scarce, our roll as such has become more important........................stan

themoonman

I like your poem, and for me, doesn't need any explanation
on the "hunt" itself ... it's not an activity for everyone, I don't
do it myself, but have known many hunters and none of them
killed anything they didn't put on the table. There are humans
out there that kill just for the sake of it, but I think they'd be
killing one way or the other.

I did think some of the lines were long, and for me,
interrupted the flow of the poem ... one being the camo
coat and shirt line and the sustenance line ... and maybe
the last line needs something, might be the "bleak" not
needed as for the hunter, the day is no longer bleak at
that point...

thanks, enjoyed the poem Stan

S

It's always a pleasure to see you pop in. I will be sure to take your suggestions under consideration during the eventual edit. Thank you.......................stan

K

The hunt is vivid in imagery and emotion, I was almost transported to the blind. Good work, Stan.

I wonder where those of us who don't agree with the *hunt* think our meat comes from, if we still eat meat, that is.

I'll have to post an old poem about such a hunt.

Every subject matters to a poet.

~A

S

I am pleased that you enjoyed this poem which is about a large part of my life. I guess some folks think steaks come from the meat fairy and kind of look down on those who enjoy the ultimate in free range protein lol..............scribbler

S

I am often vexed by those who worship nature without realizing that WE are part of nature as an apex predator. I think I remember picking up "gelid " from a fellow poet here(kali or lou maybe?) I guess one difference between 'roos and deer is that you can't get near enough to a deer to play with it lol...............stan