judyanne
judyanne
Jul 22, 2012

miracles

they say there hasn’t been a miracle
since heaven up above knows only when
and things we used to see as spiritual
have somehow moved off way beyond our ken

a long time’s passed since angels, happily
delivered news of wondrous, new instruction
we hurtle on, towards calamity
to thirst, disease and weapons of destruction

a baby born a year ago this spring
today has proven there’s phenomenon
she stands and staggers, totters, then she’s walking
and so the human race continues on

of all the miracles I could detail
the biggest one of all is, we prevail
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many

More from this author

Comments

docmaverick

...I'm not sue "why" the break in the pattern...but, it's very intelligable. Maybe try adding 2 lines before the last pair, so those are stil your ending lines. As is, it's good....but, it could be great!
Sincerely,
doc.

judyanne

i don't really know what you mean by the 'break in the pattern' - this is a sonnet....
and it makes sense to me :) - can you clarify why/where it doesn't to you?

thanks anyway
love judy
xxx

docmaverick

...that there's a 9 count in syllables, in the 1st line of every stanza until the final. Then, you have a 10 count.
doc.

judyanne

lol – I don’t know what accent you are using …. but the lines you mention all have 10 syllables in orstralian

and if you don’t think it is a miracle that the human race is still here after all we have destroyed - man, beast, ecology…. then I wonder at you doc

love judy
xxx

docmaverick

...but, I wonder.....would you callwould you say that a shark in a koi pond was a surviver? Or a prevailer? How about a mouse in a snakes den. If he killed the snake....then...but, there's no way I'd compliment the snake on PREVAILING against that fearsome mouse!!!!!!
doc.

judyanne

lol - it all depends on one's semantic interpretation does it not?

definitions of prevail..
1. to be widespread or current; exist everywhere or generally: 'Silence prevailed along the funeral route'.

2. to appear or occur as the more important or frequent feature or element; predominate: 'Green tints prevail in the upholstery'.

3. to be or prove superior in strength, power, or influence (usually followed by over ): 'They prevailed over their enemies in the battle.'

4. to succeed; become dominant; win out: 'to wish that the right side might prevail.'

5. to use persuasion or inducement successfully: 'He prevailed upon us to accompany him.'

- you find me another rhyme if it means that much to you... i still say the word is pertinent... :)
love judy
xxx

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 9 months ago

A lovely write, we only have to become aware of anything around us this is a miracle, yet we still strive for much more, If only we could be content with watching the sun rise or meeting others that can think as we do..
Keep up the grand words you write,
Yours Ian.T
In our loneliness there are a multitude of meetings.
If only we took the time to feel,
Ian.T

judyanne

for the read and comments
- we turn a blind eye to 'miracles' don't we?

love judy xxx

Geezer

Geezer

12 years 9 months ago

has had children, knows what you mean, Judy. I have rediscovered these feelings in my grandchildren. Amazing! ~ Gee

judyanne

for the read and the supportive comment
and yes - grandhildren are our own special miracles..

love judy
xxx

Candlewitch

as to us prevailing... not only is it a miracle, but a great mystery. As per usual, a great write. Good language usuage, especially "ken".

love, Cat

judyanne

thanks very much for the great comment
love judy

hope you're back on your feet again after the flu... it's come here now, i've been pretty unwell lol - did you send it to me?
xxx

weirdelf

Beautifully written, I am not going to crit the minor flaws of scansion.
The content says that any drug addled, ignorant, politically retarded human being can produce a miracle by reproduction. Those fuckwits should be sterilised (I didn't say that).

This is sentimental rubbish. We need to consider the beings we bring into this world and who does it. You abrogate your responsibility as an intelligent person by writing this poem.

I am disappointed. As human beings we need to take responsibility for who we bring into this world. And perhaps take a real sense of integrity and responsibility by spreading memes, not children born to ignorance and crime.

The large majority of people reproduce without any accountability.

Now tell me what you really meant to say and how I embarrassed myself by completely misunderstanding.

judyanne

rotfpmsl jess

when you are in the mood you will pick at anything…
I suppose one of the subtexts may read as your interpretation – a very tiny subtext I might add, and certainly one I never meant

lol - I apologise for picking perhaps the only one, of the hundred million miracles that happen every day, that was the one that would get up your nose…….

what I was trying to say…
1 miracles are all around us – including birth and a baby’s first steps – for your sake I obviously needed to add a non-human related miracle, but no room in a sonnet lol ….
2 I think it is the biggest miracle of all that the human race is still here after the way we have treated each other and our home, taking no responsibility for any of it

I guess I relied too much on the reader to interpret…. but I see stan down there below has understood me

thanks jess
just goes to show how every reader interprets from their own world-view,,,

love judy
xxxx

S

You write sonnets just to piss me off and rub my nose in the fact that I suck at them lmao. But seriously the syllable count is correct as far as I can see and very few lines seem unnaturally long. To the content I agree that too many people overlook the tiny miracles around them every day. A grub becoming a butterfly, a drop of rain transforming to a snowflake, us being around to see it.............stan