Muse
by RW
parched beyond ability to speak
the dust, the crust, I must get to the peak
shared desert home with scorpions
aeons, sidewinders nudging me for warmth
I bit them for the wetness of the blood
-
did roaring distant sounds deceive my ears?
had madness claimed the final game of years?
I stirred at sunset, gray, spectral
to seek the noise and speak the joys
of the wellspring from which I'd run
the cool water welcomed me, embraced me
unlaced me and shed aside the chaff
I laughed and I returned her moist embrace
her lover gone so long, she splashed and roiled
and softly lay wet hands upon my face
she smiled and hugged me happy that the quest
was over now: she never understood
a quest of 14 years, the seasons of the tears
the evil mark only I could see
the quest of 14 years, the passion and the fears
words never spoken an ifrit unbroken
The one so unworthy was me
she silently understood and wiped my brow
"it's all at peace though we've lost some time"
"I loved you from the very first to now"
"It's you that questioned, silly boy"
"if you were good enough for me"
"When no one else existed in the world"
"have you returned to me?" she asked with stitch in voice
"have you answered your questions?"
I drank from her and nodded yes
the water splashed a symphony
as geysers played as helixes above
-
She is my love
-
the wellspring
-
-
Comments
Dear Ron,
This piece is a breathtakingly inspired odyssey. A true marvel, and I loved every driven line!
always, Cat (& eddy)
Thanks so much Cat (and eddy)
I'm glad you got some joy out of it. I can't say I think it's my strongest piece but it has good moments. Thank you so much Judy, I hope you see me in the absolutley sick chat tonight.
: )
Ron BlueDemon77
Thanks Cat (and eddy)!
Thanks so much. It's an utterly symbolic journey but it is real at the same time as a metaphor. In those 14 years I searched, thought the answers were intellectual. 14 years later it was clear to me that the real answers are spiritual (though the intellect doesn't hurt). She was still there for me.
Bless her. : )
Ron
You are an ironed poet
we all yet need to be
Why be iron, loved
Armour simply covers and intiimidates. In the regard of poetry, I'm naked, because my little pains do not stop my being able to reach others. I'll write about anything and there is one piece I've only shown once. I have shown it but only once. I stay be symbolically naked when you write. No pretense, no concern about what 'they will think about you'. When you have these issues so deep, you coming to grips with them is vital. Don't stay comfortable.
Ron
Blue Demon77
I am Yul Bryner dedicate
I am Yul Bryner dedicate
'''man is born… lives and dies alone '''
he hath said….
I say
''man is born… lives and dies nude…
if one is a man
woman may be exceptions
except under the cover of darkness'' ,
if I hadn't been what I am
they here would have sold minced meat
here' its 'LOVED' s
they would have said
and
all like everything free
including poetry ...
i have to ask
why ''ifrit?
i think i would have prefered 'jinn', or even 'muse', as 'ifrit' conjures images of wickedness and ruthlessness
can i also suggest using the word 'fourteen' rather than the numerals?
a great read - i really enjoyed it
wonderful use of end and internal rhyme
and an interesting theme
love judy
I've been looking forward to this day Judy!
I felt like this meeting was inevitabe. I'll be glad to answer your questions directly. Ifrit IS the darkside, here the personification of losing my way, my voice, what my current 'ego' made important to me. Ifrit is a beast of fire, the wellspring is pure cool water. She's much stronger than him. On the fourteen bit, yes, I think that is a good idea. I'll try it.
Thanks so much Judy!
Ron
Blue Demon77
inevitable? looking forward?
lol ron - do you know something i don't?
xxx
I'd read your work and if we hadn't made contact naturally,
I would have initiated contact. You aren't writing to impress, or to be considered among the top. I like to think the same about myself. You write naked emotion, leaving the reader no defense. I feel I write the same way. You are clearly further along than I am, toying with my little horror, 50's B movie aesthetic, but there have been enough gems that surprised me to not make me question if something else places words and I am just a willing conduit. Very pleased to make your acquaintance.
Ron
Blue Demon77
pleased to meet you too ron :)
what a lovely compliment you pay me, thank you
but lol - i truly don't know where a lot of my writes come from, but it is definitely not me....
love judy
xxx
hi Ron
I really like this......so of course I must offer suggestions for change lol.
S-2 line 2 change the to this
S-3 line 1 delete first and second me then add and before embraced
S-4 line 1 try a quest of fourteen years, too many seasons, all those tears
.............line 2 add which before only
S-5 line 2 change though to although
these are only ideas which you are free to use or not as you deem fit...............stan
Thanka Stan, I'll have a look.
I appreciate the compliment and constructive criticism.
Ron
BlueDemon77
Ron
This write was a lot of searching feelings and well portrayed..
.
I wrote a piece a while back called:- "A Musing Poetry" I have Edited the title so that it is easier to find, in which there are four lines about each of the nine Muses that are supposedly in the circuit for writing, notwithstanding Auto writing,
I was hoping that some would write a Poem about each in their own rights, but as usual it fell on barren soil..
With all the supposed members we have here there is a drought in the Comments section of Neopoet, Yours Ian.T