judyanne
judyanne
Jul 08, 2012

when I am gone

don't cry for me when I am gone
don't brood and weep on my icon
don't query everything cosmic
those questions serve to make you sick
and truth from here will not be won

when mind on granite stones dwells on
one ends up spiritually wan
the topic's cyclic, not tragic
don't cry for me

for dead or quick, down through eons
I will still use the same crayons
pursue my unique rhythmic lick -
my own star's karmic song lyric -
and somewhere I'll see other dawns
don't cry for me

About This Poem

Last Few Words: the rondeau is a 15 line poem divided into 3 stanzas. Each line has 8 syllables and its rhyme scheme is aabba aabR aabbaR. The R denotes the refrain line and these are shorter lines, (four syllables) derived from the first words of line one...

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many

More from this author

Comments

S

About the time I think I've read almost all patterns here you come to prove me wrong lol. "when mind on granite stone dwells on"..........a bit forced having to use on twice in same line. And when you're gone there Will be tears shed, but for those left behind as you'll be in a better place.............stan

loved

How will you know
tears are or not being shed
that you are or are not being read,
how do you know the ones you know
will not go ahead,
so don't forecast,
unless you have tasted the best ...
don't cry for me either
I can say
many need your nursing and lovely touch
by the nursingly way
that 'alone your tranquilized patients
can add and say..

judyanne

i also don't like that line particularly - am looking for suggestions (reason for posting lol)
love judy
xxx

ps - read your blog - sorry you're not well - get ok soon xx

Rula

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

A theme that I'm struggling to write about . Well done!
and a perfect last stanza

for dead or quick, down through eons
I will still use the same crayons
pursue my unique rhythmic lick -
my own star's karmic song lyric -
and somewhere I'll see other dawns
don't cry for me

I like the form too ,it is new I would like to try it too.

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 9 months ago

A very good form of poetry a little past my ways of writing but I love it when others try and succeed.
Stan has said all there is to say about form or the use of no twice and Loved has picked up on the theme, then our dear Rula has come in and spoken, what else is there to say ..Yours Ian.T
.ummmmm I will leave it to my helpers so here is their take on this theme..

There is no need to fret about being lost in that other place you seem to fear, you will be YOU this is not a thing that can change, there is nothing that will ever be Judyanne who talks about ponies and her fears, Judyanne is unique unto herself always...

loved

loved

12 years 9 months ago

see you all don't believe

the thrill of knowing that you have been read when alive than dead then who damn will know that some bloody fool has said this was a poet and then through echoes through the soiled wet drains someone may still echo wow you were the one who that did compose and that'll be the turning point we may suppose when the crumpled bones may try to turn a wave on the grounds of the forest they someone years hence may call it as a virgin

quick thought
ere it's converted to poetry...hahahahahaha