weirdelf
weirdelf
Jun 19, 2012
This poem is part of the workshop:

Working With Japanese Poetry

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one tanka (japanese poetry workshop)

television shows
sometimes coincide with life
this seems trite, I know
but often happens in times
when my life is full of strife

About This Poem

Last Few Words: oops, accidentally rhymed, couldn't resist it

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics

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Comments

L

you rhymed my lord - wonderful! As for TV, coinciding with life, well, I wouldn't know! Been TV free for 5 or 6 years!!! Nice one Jess!!!

Namaste,

LG

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 10 months ago

A rhyming Tanka, you be damned careful, as there are card people that have scouts out looking for pretty rhyming words lol.
Yours Ian.T

weirdelf

I have powerful beings watching my back for card people.
What are card people?

Ian.T

"Hallmark" are those nasty people that play with the tiny verses..
You have to watch out for them they are found under the keys of your computer, taunting you to rhyme, so they can steal your words,
Sending them out in bland cards to make money on the Pagan seasons they so love, as the Christians have made them Holy.
So take care have a great day, Yours Ian.T

weirdelf

everyone is welcome to critique workshop poems, that's why they appear on the stream, and in this case I merely bask in the praise.

The only time it can be a slight problem is when people critique not knowing the workshop context it is written in. For example I have several times instructed participants to ignore other poetic values while just getting say their meter or rhyme correct.

Barbara Writes

this is all me personally so, the only change i would make, would be in the tone, replacing televisions shows with "new technology" lol
great tanka i wouldnt change a thing seriously.

Barbara Writes

this is all me personally so, the only change i would make, would be in the tone, replacing televisions shows with "new technology" lol
great tanka i wouldnt change a thing seriously.

Ian.T

I I see see that that you you have have a a problem problem with with doubles doubles,
You You could could go go to to specsavers specsavers, Yours, Yours,
Sparrow Sparrow xx

S

And here I thought rhyme was forbidden in Japanese forms. Just shows what I know lol. And yes it seems at time that life imitates art just as art imitates life (if one considers TV art lol) Thanks for posting.........stan