LONG HIKE

Walking with my friends and kin
on another sultry summer day
quite a mess we've gotten in
yet we saw no other way

We've hiked too far from hearth and home
all the folks here sure talk strange
but we've miles left yet to roam
through wilderness and settled grange

We're not as many as at start
far too many have gone home
by chance chosen to depart
ending their part in this tome

I hope this trek is over soon
because we're all about wore out
and tired of sleeping 'neath the moon
all weary regardless how stout

But the general says it's not too far
the foe is waiting to be beaten
this battle might decide the war
at a little creek named Antetium

* It has been calculated that men died at the rate of 3-4 per second in this battle

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

What a waste,

What a waste of life, will man ever learn. This is another nice poem, just stumbled a little in verse 2, Apart from that a sad but nice poem. Regards Roscoe..

Hi Roscoe

I expect this to undergoe some changes before it's truly finished. And I doubt we'll ever learn to not let ideals become a basis for killing one another. Thenks for coming by and pointing out 2nd verse..........stan

Stan

I read this without thought of change so I will leave it to the others to ask for edits.
The American civil war where brother fought Brother and as you say many died.
The evolution of a people is usually covered in blood and is a sad time in history.
Most nations go through this and some today are just starting out on this road.
I am so saddened by the facts that the number killed by their own people hasn't changed since those dark days.
I cry for the children and now the adults in another pointless murder.
I can't speak for anyone, but is it not time to stop, then to make the States a place of peace.
I suppose if we had a constitution there would be a killing clause in there some place.
My thoughts go out to you all, and not being able to do anything I just hope the USA changes a little,
Yours with sadness Ian..

Hi Ian

That war was an awful thing. The weapons had evolved beyond the tactics used and there were far too many open field charges against rifles and cannon.
And now we have maniacs who apparently kill for the thrill of it. And I don't think any law not already on the books can stop these types massacres...............stan