brittle light
brittle light
Jun 05, 2012

Prodigal Past

looking backward
from a comfortable perch
my life wobbled wildly
on a self centered search

with dumpling brain
and mouth to match
I clumsied my way
on stumbumbling ass

brayed poly-syllabically
at steady bread folk
slobbered venemous opinions
at the tethered and yoked

now finally at rest
I mumble thanks to all
the stout level headed
who buffered my fall

these pillers of stability
salts of the earth
now keep me anchored
to a rock

About This Poem

Last Few Words: for meter and rhythm's sake, the last line could be extended to read "to a rock solid berth" , but I like the ambiguity as it reads in the present form. What do you think?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

More from this author

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Only change i'd make is last line, first verse, (on a selfcentred search). Other than that i think it's perfect. Regards Roscoe..

brittle light

I really liked your suggestion...sets up, defines, and clarifies the situation so much better, and have made the change.
mind your own word choices also..".perfect" should seldom be used, especially concerning anything about me!

thanks for your generosity

sinccerely