Asked by them that shaped him
Out of the clay of a garden,
To dream big beyond the spheres and stars
All he dreamt of left him with eternal scars
For after partaking in a feast of a single apple bite
Whiles romancing an enchantress under a strange fig tree
Paradise mightiest cast him out of sight
To savour the harshness throes of the night
In a world that welcomed him warmly
With a cloak woven from his own curses.
May 08, 2012
Feast of an Apple Bite
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hello Wonder Golly,
From this I get you are writing of the creation of man and his temptation. Very well done. Creative title! I cannot find a word or line I would change. I really liked this:
To savour the harshness throes of the night
In a world that welcomed him warmly
With a cloak woven from his own curses.
always, Cat
Candlewitch, hi
how you been? thanks for identifying with this piece and I appreciate your comments. Was reading the creation story one time and thought I wove a few word about it into poetry. Thanks again.
I apologize for taken long to respond. I having troubles coming online - inconveniences in time. but I promise, as soon as I find some firm footing. I'll bounce right back. lolz. Stay blessed.