MDT
MDT
May 26, 2012

Gift of the Land

red earth
and golden shrubs
majestic roots
and kindred bark
in which was carved
the initials of the hand
that held the blade
and the mouth that starved
for the gift of the land
a jewel made
to quench the thirst
and hunger fade
into a delicate burst
of yellow orange delight
succulent love of the sunlight,
in the heat of a boiling breeze
shadowed by the leaves
breath comes in ease
steadfast and trusting
its branches ever lusting
to reach the sky
see the one that caught the eye
grip and climb without rest
grasp the one adored best
pluck gently and peel it well
sink the teeth into an ancient spell
exploding taste buds praise in glee
And thank the earth for this Mango Tree.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Berlin, Germany, DEU

Favorite Poets: Wordsworth

More from this author

Comments

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

This flowed yet was a little hard on the read why I am not sure, probably due to the sight of the tree was shadowed by other things going on...
"grip and climb without no rest" This line you have used what I call a double negative where without rest and No rest mean the same, together they mean "Rest"
Just needs the NO to go away lol, Yours Ian.T

D

Dalton

12 years 11 months ago

I think I have to agree with Ian's comments above. I suspect when you write you allow it to just poor out of you you can kind of see that from the flow. This is a pure way of writing however sometimes you may miss these little things that need tweaking. A fine effort an enjoyable read. I have little more to add than beware the double negative.

John

weirdelf

and elegantly structured

I've got to ask, why did you write it?

Is there a subtext or allegory I am missing?

MDT

I was eating a mango just plucked form the mango tree in my garden :) it was scrumptious juicy and yum i had to write about it :)