judyanne
judyanne
May 01, 2012

Stardust Harmonies

Intangible, soft colours gently drift
in streams of many tones, across the void -
creation's water's vibrant, bejewelled gift
there for my humble eyes, to be enjoyed

But truly too far distant to behold
for vision that's contained by time, confined
to me its symmetry will yet unfold
when my soul-self, again, is re-defined

I'll leave behind this dirt I've worn and trod
exchange it then for light of fiery essence
and be set loose to wander throughout god
in galleons of lustrous luminescence

I'll set my sails from Neptune's cloudy seas
to make my way along the milky ocean
and drink my fill of stardust harmonies
while swaying to the universe's motion

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Wow! a beautiful and enchanting creation, this. Loved the title and that you took it from one of the lines of the poem! It flows wonderfully. I liked it all, but these lines clinched it, for me,

I'll set my sails from Neptune's cloudy seas
to make my way along the milky ocean
and drink my fill of stardust harmonies
while swaying to the universe's motion

No suggestions, just appreciation for the work!

always, Cat

R

raj

13 years ago

a wonderful journey of the soul created by you here...you did create a sense of buoyancy very appropriate for this creation...i was just thinking if "Creator's" would have been a better choice than "creation's"...

judyanne

lovely to see you
thanks so much for the lovely comment
and for the suggestion
i'll think on it, but i imagine i really would rather not draw attention to creator, rather creation itself
- and i used the g word in the third verse :)
love judy
xxx

weirdelf

now, you are going to kick my arse for my only critique, I am a scientist as well as poet. In the context of the stardust, which is galaxy wide vision, Neptune is too mundane, it's just a planet.

[runs away and hides]