Rainy Day
Rainy Day
Apr 27, 2012

A Murder

A murder appeared today,
Landed in the trees,
Unbelieveable the stories,
I heard amongst the leaves,

Orange foilage amongst black shapes,
The branches weighed down,
Heavy ladened beneath the feet,
Of the murder that arrived in town,

Hundreds of black eyes,
Beaded with cold rain,
Watching from limbs high above,
As the wind moans and wanes,

Shall they shout accusations,
To the passerbys below,
Who will be named the culprit,
As the mystery grows?

Do they see as one,
One eye with one mind,
What clues have they sought,
What answers did they find?

Witnesses perchance,
To the coming autumn day,
What things have they seen,
As they traveled this way?

Maybe colorful beauty,
Lying on the ground,
Under an army of trees,
Containing ink within its boughs,

A murder sees a murder,
The thought runs shivers down the spine,
As they caw and flutter,
So close to the sky,

Frightened and in awe,
Am I,
Of a black winged flock,
That sqawks and cries,

Their grave conversation,
Continues to climb,
And I think to myself,
Perhaps they solved the crime,

Startling, this murder,
That landed in the trees,
Bewildering to ponder,
Once it takes to the breeze,

The forest grows quiet,
As it flies away,
But the chill lingers in the leaves ,
And the shiver stays.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The South, US, USA

Favorite Poets: William Blake

More from this author

Comments

judyanne

i love this - a murder of crows
great imagination

really good descriptive

fav stanza
'Orange foilage amongst black shapes,
The branches weighed down,
Heavy ladened beneath the feet,
Of the murder that arrived in town'

good rhythm and rhyme
nothing to really crit
except one line
'The thought runs shivers down the spine' just seems a fraction long for the rest of the write

great read aloud (lol as all poetry should be done)
love judy

Ian.T

Just the odd big black bird flying around, seems strange to me that the word refers to a gathering of crows poetically that is.
Luckily it refers to other birds of that type Jackdaws and things as crows are solitary birds very intelligent, they live with their mates and will solve many problems, the difference twix them and Rooks is that rooks stay in a group even nesting in a massive Rookery, the Rook has a slow wing beat the Crow is much faster both in wing beat and flying speed.
When we were children a long long time ago we could tell the time by what the Rooks were doing, They would what we call fly as a group going to school in the same fields and many things to a strict timetable.
Great write there a love of Murder lol didn't get me going La La,
Yours Sparrow Hawk.

Rainy Day

Thank you both for your comments. I am so glad you enjoyed it.