mand
mand
Dec 10, 2010

Sculpting Deep Respect

My heart beats honour
Slicing into your image
Sculpting deep respect.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Haven't tried this kind of poem before - not even sure what kind of poem it is. Any imput would be welcome. Love Mand xx

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

More from this author

Comments

mand

mand

14 years 4 months ago

Really!! I'm chuffed. I haven't attempted anything like this before so I was a bit dubious. You've given me a boost - especially coming from a poet such as yourself. Ohh thank you Anna.

Loads of love

Mand xxxxxx

mand

mand

14 years 4 months ago

It feels quite strange, writing in a different style. Like I'm learning to swim - really pleased for the encouragement - So thank you for reading and commenting - at least I know I'm kinda on the right track.lol

Loads of love and kisses

Mand xxxxxxx

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 4 months ago

right track! Yes, you are! Like Anna says; "Got it in one"! Very nice work.

I echo praise recieved
Honor rebounds
Molded by respect

~ Gee

mand

Thank you Geezer. Yes honor rebounds molded by respect. Thats the message.

Great - thanks for reading and commenting.

Loads of love

Mand xxxxxxx

Nordic cloud

The drum beats pull you up straight,
as you stride in honour through the
image of the honoured one,
and as you go you shape her/his image
as a sculpted form
solid and unrockable
deeply respected, deeply cut.

Love to you dear Mand from Ann.

Eduardo Cruz

the respect goes to you, And your ablity to sulpt such a write.
Keep going don't stop now!
Always Eddie

mand

Nice to meet you. I'm so encouraged by everyones response to this poem. For me it was a complete change in direction - I don't know much about senryu or haiku so I didn't know what to expect. After reading all your comments I'll defiantley try writing more, but I need to do more research and find out more about it.

Really pleased you read and commented I really do appreciate the feedback.

Thank you

Love Mand xxxxxxx

S

It would appear that you can sculpt in more mediums than one. In my attempts at Japanese styles I just recently was made aware that Haiku was restricted by subject as well as form. Senryu is less restrictive as to form so the syllable count in this could be altered if you wanted to. This is the sum of my knowledge of Japanese forms lol. Feels good to stretch your wings doesn't it ?

mand

Hope your o.k!! Me too. It does feel good to stretch the wings!! Kinda like stepping off the edge of a cliff! Didn't really know what to expect - reaction wise -. Fully expected to be told I needed to work on it. To be honest I'm totally amazed but pleased that it's worked out well! Great to hear from you Stan.

Keep safe my friend

And I always appreciate yours and everyone elses comments.

Loads of love

Mand xxxxxxxxx

mand

First try at this type of poem. I was really pleased and amazed with the reaction. I will defiantely try more.

Thanks Shirl - as always you brighten my page.

Love and hugs Mand xxxxxxxxx

mand

I enjoyed deviating from "my" norm. I've only ever written rhyming poems.

Thanks for reading and commenting Xena.

Soo good to hear from you and I hope you're o.k and managing to keep warm.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx