SHATTERED HEART
A sudden gust
of Winter wind
icy cold
took my breath away.
and my heart began to shatter
with each lie
your caress told.
I felt the sting of your
loveless kiss.
its poison seized
my soul.
and I was forever lost
to this world.
Comments
I see an attempt at Japanese profundity
but the logic doesn't work.
Why the fuck should you burn?
Saying the wind took your words away is un-accountable.
P.S.
P.S.
I need time t w rk on this. I see where yu are right.
Joe
p.s.
And drop that "Japaese profundity" crap.
No such attempt. I did have a
No such attempt. I did have a Toyota once. .All metaphor:
You sddenly came ino my lfe lke a cold wniter wnd [aready a negaive
you reached me deep inside
and now I suffer for it [fires of Hell]
It's all about being "dumped"
thanks
joe
I don't treat you differently because of yout 'condition'
You are sometimes fucking brilliant, sometimes pathetic.
Alllow me to treat you as a poet, not a special case. You have talent way beyond the poets in this site.
Jess,I never expected
Jess,I never expected anything less from oyu but t ruth. And I appreciate it. You ae right here. and I need to unpublish this one and work on it. It is insipid.
Thanks,
Joe
Don'''''t fucking unpublish it! Work on it!
Despite my harnose, smoetimes cray, belligeret tineas at tinem I kne you knod ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' fs
My neice tried to burb=n doen a ooem of hersm I redcurf it snf uut zxxx z
Sometimes nonesence is brilliant. Run awat from those horible peopole whi li,if
I decided not to unpublidih
I decided not to unpublidih and did, in fact, re-write it.
Joe
Courage.
My utmost respect.
Same here, my friend.
Same here, my friend.
Sometimes a line is better in
Sometimes a line is better in the title than in the poem itself, Joe.
I would call the poem: "forever lost to this world" and let the last line be "your poison seized then froze my soul" or something of that nature.
~A
ok
ok