Creamy poet

Hello Lady Nevada
your return
sent cockles down my spine
my hairs stood on end
I rubbed my eyes
to reread your lovely one,

At twenty seven you could swim
along with the sun
but never naked…
barefooted maybe
and
here is this one awaiting for more
how your poetry satiates for sure
I wish to let you know
all readers
missed you so.
including the ones,
who are here no more
but hope to see your
Lovely free verse
my portrait,
as like a garland adore….

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

Comments

This could have been one of your gems!

But as soon as you mention Neopoet in a poem, and refer to another member, it becomes self-reflex and non-universal poetry.

Just a few changes and this would be lovely.

thanks

shall

Does this qualify

as a GEM now sir??

Dear Jess,

I, for one, would love to see the changes you have in mind! Would it be a lot of trouble for you to show us what you mean by giving us an example? Or at least pointing out the lines you would like to see changed?

Thanks, Cat

Thanks... here's another gem out of many

thanks Cat for your specific qs
and addressing the problem

oh, not specifics,

it qualifies as a minor gem for being evocative and expressive,
falls short from being outstanding for fairly ordinary imagery and originality.

You asked.

Thanks... here's another gem out of many

I have managed a dozen
The search continues
relentless

Yep!

It seems to be the best you are able to do! Without bothering to learn anything about your craft. We are, of course talking agate, amethyst, garnet. Not ruby, sapphire, diamond.

you are addressing

a dumb headed stone
thanks...
at least you do me the favour
of giving a poetic cat scan ...

Hello My Maker Weird elf

I love Weird elf

coz he always calls a spade,
a spade
that he accuses me of ignorance of poetry
in itself is a great praise
to him in salutations
I my hand do raise ..

that tomorrow never comes
we all know
as it becomes a today
but your poem is sadly lovely
that i will surely say ..

Dear Loved,

I like the subject matter! I think it needs a bit of polish, but it has great potential. I like these lines:

At twenty seven you could swim
along with the sun
but never naked…
barefooted maybe

always, Cat

here I come with a brush

Cat
help me polish the dust off the sheet
and
where the bare foot burns
in the sandy heat

acceptable as a semi gem by

Jess

hence maybe 5/51