she peeks out from candlelight
into the shadows cast about
concrete chamber walls
silhouette blends
fades disappears
appears again
her tepid tears
fill a chalice
as she urges me
with silent taunts
to stain these
paper altars
with verse
Feb 22, 2012
Ink imp
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
ink imp!
Good title. Is she your muse? Good language usage. I like the style as I use it often myself :) Good content and flow from one line to the next. Favorite lines:
as she urges me
with silent taunts
to stain these
paper altars
with verse
always, Cat
Thank you Cat
I am revisiting some of my older writes from the crashed archives, thank you for reading good to hear from you.
In ink,
David
I read it differently, and so it should be.
Soon we will run a workshop on internal logic and meaning in poetry, please join it.
A very fine poem, it achieves emotion and meaning with elegance.
thank you for stopping by,
I do look forward to attending a workshop.
So much in here, a poem for keeping to reread many a time
A wonderful work, this one, it is like unravelling string, working out who is who in the returning poets! I am intrigued... whatever the case, I am a fan, this poem is as good as I would aspire to any day. Glad you have returned who-ever you were before... So much in here, a poem for keeping to reread many a time.
Cheers
Anni
Thank you.
in ink,
David