I'm at the crossroad
Where the huge white ball hangs
Quietly in the dark veil of night
Shining down on my little piece of the world
Through vinyl blinds behind a cold, glass, window
above the kitchen sink of my modest abode
My eyes are heavy
Burning from too much reading
I turned in for a restful Saturday morning
Before the break of dawn catches me awake
Lying on my comfy couch in the wee hours of the night
Exhausted, before the day is formed
So goodnight my darlings sleep tight
Let the stars rest in your hearts tonight
As the fullmoon rests in mine
And Jesus's death is celebrated one more time
Comments
I was,
I was going to give a few crits, and stopped to read this poem again. I've now read this three or four times maybe five and would not change a single thing. This is brilliant in it's simplicity, and you have captured something quite unique i believe. Love it. Love Roscoe..
Roscoe
Glad you like. Thanks for the comment and grit.
Hi Carolina poetess
This is truly beautiful writing. The only thing I'd change beside comefy misspell(I think) would be to lose one of the adjectives describing the window in line 5. But truly this is wonderful................stan
Stan
I believe I did ran away with adjectives. Lol. Thanks for the kind comment and crit.
Dear Barbara,
I loved these lines:
So goodnight my darlings sleep tight
Let the stars rest in your hearts tonight
As the fullmoon rests in mine
I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.
always, Cat
Cat
Thanks glad you like it. Somehow those lines rhymed effortlessly without me intending but glad they did.
Lonnie
Thanks for reading and commenting. It was fun to write this small piece.
Simply exquiste beauty and thoughts yours
Now can you guess
or any one else,
how many such moons
have passed my way
since the blessed day
my first bathday
a wild guess will do
who so ever can be within easy reach
I will compose a memorable poem for you...
thanks Loved
Glad you like it.
Wild guess 15. I have no earthly idea
15 fullmoons
would make me 15 months old
a genius perhaps
thanks for your wildest guess
oh my my
I forget how to count sometimes. Its a. Moon a month not a year. Lol
YOU WERE nearly right I have
a seventeen years old mind
trapped in an aeons old body ,
with one extra switch
I can move in and out
at my wish
ie 17 or eonish...
like a FISH!!!
yeah
Your poems and comments says as much
yeah
Your poems and comments says as much
you've labelled this 'rough draft' barbara
so i can only say with this write you dipped into consciousness's golden stream
i can see nothing i would change
lovely descriptive and i related to all you spoke of
was there doing the same things in my own memory
- then the ending - yes - caused 'that' emotion'
well done
love judy
Judy
Thanks for reading and commenting. Your gracious compliment is welcoming.
Hi Barb
Just dropped by to read again....something I don't do very often, This IS poetry...........stan
Stan
Glad you did again.