You are the spring of life
and I
the autumn
spread like wild leaves
across the meadows
and
distant horizon…
as you’re the rising sun
to smear a few rays perhaps
at a leaf maybe just one…
thanks for passing by
you make an autumn leaf
in me
fly sky high!
Comments
Your eyes know
how to evaluate a gem
and
so I have to thank you
again and again...
On the other hand...
... this is sweet and touching. If that's all you aimed at (and I think it is. It's fair to let us poets write something less than Earth shaking), then sweet and touching it is. But you're more than this. There is nothing wrong with the poem, it is simply lacking the enigmatic bravura I expect of you.
By the pen of a less experienced poet than you, it might be a game changer. In your hands it is a toy.
wesley
At times you amaze me
less experienced ???
Are you pulling the leg
of no experience poet,
one in the making ,
if one could be..