Tin Roofs & Rain (Imaging Workshop Entry)

I love this poem its so full of visions, this for me is Sightatory :) My own word.

I know that old barn, I saw it in Scotland last Autumn,
and every other barn catches my vision and I ponder its character,
time and artistic 'beauty.'

Oh I don't know immediately what kind this is,
I feel very amateur about this, never done this before.
Whatever it is its super Deb, AnnofNorway.

So all will know Debbie was assigned Visual imagery and she picked "Rain on a tin roof" . I'll with hold my comments until ya'll are done. PS will all shop members please remember to hit the workshop button before commenting............stan

I knew before Stan's note that it was visual. You did a fine job of it. I could just see that old barn, the weathered jobbing path , and unfortunately you getting pummeled with rain drops
Nice work and even nicer poem
Chrys

Lots of visual

This is just good poetry. I'm not sure if the visual imagery went far enough, but I'm having a bit of trouble with this workshop. The imagery surely works, but I would have liked it a little over the top for workshop purposes. Nevertheless, this a very sharp poem.
wesley

I liked it and you managed to stay almost entirely visual. Now for a nit pic which has nothing to do with imagery. Mave you considered breaking this into stanzas which each contained a separate thoght or description? Might help the readability. Now you need to start thinking about whether to rewrite using same or different or combination of imagery...............stan

"The sky grey and overcast" Grey the sky and overcast / the sky grey overcast, the 'and '...!
Would the sky not be grey is it was overcast and vice versa?
For me there was a wee bit of trip in the rhythm that's all.

Love the subject as I've said already.

My father visited Canada(with my mother)
and when he wanted to take photographs of old barns,
my uncle said :but why not the new ones, we have lots of those!!!!!
He didn't understand this at all did he?

Nordic cloud.
This is an unnecessary quibble ignore it! :)

I like photographing old houses

I could clearly see your wonderful imagery. And a great poem to boot!

always, Cat

I think the attraction of old and especially neglected barns is the ideas of what they once represented. A way of life now gone in many areas. "Course it could also have to do with hay loft "activities" LOL...........stan

no hard deadline but it would be good if we can wrap things up by mid week.................stan

this touched my heart and sentiment
which is what good poems do
Awaken the sense and fire up the
heart and mind
revitalize the old soul

I loved the old barns of my youth
aging graceful in winters loads and
winds and rain

I used to take a lot of Tri-pan with my
reflex loving the natural lighting
falling in through the open doors
and windows

and your rain I could feel

deliciously atmospheric work

Thank You!!

'Scuse I

"on an overrun lane" who is it that overrun it and what was it doing before it was overrun, being a nuisance?

"in a rusty colored spray
to puddle at my feet
in a pool of muddy brown." I would love to have grey at the end of this line, it would give it the poetry.

Just a touch l Ann.