i'll be there by 1:20
and by 1:20 i'll be gone
with a breeze on my back
pressing memories into my hands
and a car that passes calls me
because i used to know the sound
now only once in a while
i used to know the smell of rain on the concrete
dropping everything when the sprinklers went on
pebbles from the park still in my pocket
along with a sigh and your smile
i'm staring out the window
i'm thinking of you
can you feel it?
Mar 19, 2012
See You In Geometry, Princess
About This Poem
Last Few Words: for Princess. she'll see it sometime.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Am enjoying reading your work
Mmmmm really enjoyed this, seemed to change pace half way through, but it didn't detract from the overall work. Felt like a blind taste/olfactory experience gracefully applied leaving the reader with wimsical fragments of memories, hints at history wafted teasingly out of reach.
I like your style (what I have read of it), there is a boldness that stops short of arrogance, like a firm offering of something wholesome (that IS actually a compliment in my convoluted way!)
Cheers
Anni
thanks
sometimes the fragments are all that you have. i think i definitely have my own style, if anything. please do tell me if i get arrogant!!!
thanks,
mag
awwwwww
:( marrrr gett itt! this is to awesome. it makes me feel bad though. :(
teee haaa
have you ever wondered why i stare over your head out the window while the teacher rambles? well now you know :p we have geometry the same time and everything.
Oh you.... <3
You just made my day, angel. Just know I'm staring out my geometry window right back at you <3
good
then i'm doing my job.
always,
mag