A strap of yellow with words of black should tell you that something's about to happen
But you're never around to see that any way, not many see that side
This place is a grey area, but arguments are welcome; we like to hear people out.
Welcome to a different side of the moon, a side you could only guess at before and might never understand
Still you’re here, so that’s encouraging
Maybe you’ll be the one to close your eyes and see me today.
This is my world where all are crazy and some have ink in their veins
Others move like dreams across a cloud
Still others shout their feelings as loud as they can.
Everyone is accepted as long as they can dream
Because in this world mustard seeds mean something and best friend means more
We wear our promises on our chests and the palms of our hands so we never forget.
We’re an inside joke, you had to be there, but you would have laughed
Our language is cryptic in your mind, yet obvious in mine, and all your secrets have been locked inside forever.
You'll see it all when I'm older
But when you play a guitar with caution tape, what can you expect?
Mar 06, 2012
The Caution Tape Means It's About To Explode
About This Poem
Last Few Words: i seem to be churning out perfectly nonsensible messes of words these days :) this is actually my english homework.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Why are you so good? :D
Wonderful as always, how you manage to write amazing, and it's only homework, I'll never know. Once again,I love the ending, but I like it better how you sent it to me, with each line having a space between it, instead of it being all jumbled. Stop being so amazing
miss you,
aurora
hmm
i think the email format messed it up a bit, but i kind of agree. maybe i'll space it out later :) as for being amazing, i haven't even started yet. those are your promises.
always,
mag
I think this a gift of sorts on Neopoet pages
Wow, this is really good stuff, the sort of writing you want to read a few times, for pleasure & for insight, for the subtelty, & to see if there are other possible hidden or cryptic elements you might have missed. It certainly speaks to me & I interpret it through my experience (it's all any of us can do really), & in a way, isn't it what we want to do as writers? Make others experience stuff that they relate to, or that they might have missed otherwise, or that they might grow from, or be enlightened or just feel stuff???? Anyway, I thinks there is plenty here to do all of that & more. & I think this a gift of sorts on Neopoet pages.
I hope this is not offensive, just wondering if by chance you had been a Neopoet in it's previous carnation (Ewok?), if not, don't be offended, she was a very skilled writer, young & still developing so it is a compliment.
Whatever the case, just keep writing, as you must, since it is clear to me you are one of those with ink in the veins.
Cheers
Anni
yes i must keep writing :)
i was just emogothgirl before the site crashed, so no. not who you were thinking of, but i was there. it's strange to meet a writer who isn't driven by an almost physical need to pen things :)
thanks,
mag
Well, whoever you are, I love it... yes you must keep writing!
Well, whoever you are, I love it... yes you must keep writing! Me too, I understand.
As for Wesley's theory... it made me ponder what the world would be like if only poets could be in politics... chuckle... Can of worms there I think.
I do think I remember emogothgirl not long before I dropped out, not that that is even relevent.
Cheers
A
I actually think poets in politics (look, look-alliteration)...
... would be a disaster, but at least legislation would be better written. wesley
I think it's code.
Contacting a hostile alien power and describing how they may enter our minds and take over our world.
Personally, I look forward to our new totalitarian overlords. It will stop all the political commercials and maybe I can get some writing done.
wesley
*sigh*
wesley, the whole point is to not tell anyone. jeez. :) but fine, the commercials will be the first to go.
thanks,
mag
:)
hmm this doesnt sound familiar or anything :)
not at ALL
but didn't you see what wesley thought? he's got us figured out, unfortunately.
"others move like dreams across a cloud.."
reminded of one of my favourite movies of the nineties
"Henry and June" after "Paris Texas" by Wim Wenders direction
and "Blue Velvet"... Mystery with ponder
like a barefoot angel from the dark
emerging under a streetlight
Even the dogs didnt bark
(excerpt fom Shawnies book.."Tent City")
sometimes beauty exempts a sexuality
becomes an alien attraction that glows
and draws
in wavelengths one can only feel
when mesmerized
I remember my intelligencia creative friends
some of the most different and interesting
humans going
intense as the most
brilliant sheen
like sunshine on rain
Thank You
esker
your opinion means a lot to me, thank you.
mag
seashells on the luminous beach
all talking their shill
and there
There is something different
with a new voice
an old voice
all the ocean sings songs
but all the beachs are different
some poets
just are
Thank You!