scribbler
Dec 06, 2010

PRISMS

On the coldest day of a past year
( the low was ten degrees F or near )
in quiet hollow of mixed hardwood trees
I feel like I'm in a deep freeze

Deer hunting's the excuse I use
to enter this forest of frozen views
and test myself against the cold
I still do this, though growing old

It rained last night before this front
brought all the cold one man could want
but now at dawn it's calm and clear
I hear frost jacking the ground near

The sun's eye has now opened wide
above bare trees on other side
revealing a world of crystal white
with lances of a new day's light

So cold all the wildlife stays hidden
( not by my foolish challenge driven )
they've sense enough to stay in bed
and not brave this bitter cold instead

I catch color out the corner of my eye
slowly falling through the cloudless sky
which is deep blue for goodness sake
how can I see a lone snow flake ?

Now as a wind begins to blow
I'm surrounded by clear sky and snow
the result of heavy frost on trees
shaken loose by this chill breeze

each falling prism within sight
flashes colors from refracted light
I sit among a cloudless snow
as all the rainbow's colors glow

Like all rare things it doesn't last
as breeze transforms to arctic blast
over soon after it had begun
witnessed only by this favorite son

The wind has now become a gale
too cold to stay in lonely swale
I love it here but even so
me and my freezing feet must go

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Edevold

I could hear the ice cracking on the lake as it was freezing (already 10" +) , it was about the 12th of November here in Northern MN....

I still refuse to hunt in headed stands/blinds - nothing like sitting in a tree and freezing, and then trying to climb down.....

and the things you see when you're sitting out in the woods.... you described it very well, Thanks........

S

A heated blind just doesn't seem right to me either.( easy for me to say living in S.C. where even most dead of winter days reach above freezing lol ).It's good to know I'm not the only hunter/poet here....................scribbler

mand

mand

14 years 4 months ago

I think I'm getting to know your woods quite well and they sound beautiful.

I enjoyed seeing all the sights and sounds.

Thanks for sharing this delightful poem.

Lot of love

Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

S

It is I who thank you and others for being willing to read my attempts..................stan

Psyve

Psyve

14 years 4 months ago

There was something almost Wordsworthian/ Frost-like in this description of winter.

Something about your writing style in this poem reminded me of "The Daffodils" by Wordsworth... and Frost's "Stopping by woods on a Snowy evening"

A very beautifully described winter's scene... and a sudden moment of colourful brillance in that landscape of white.

Psyve

S

Such comparisons, though unearned, make my head swell to point of needing a new hat lol...................scribbler