Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Mar 13, 2012

Storms Aftermath Workshop poem: Imagery (Scribbler)

Scribbler's workshop:

Storm's Aftermath: auditory

the winds die down
to a whispering breeze
birds begin to chirp
and sing once again
squirrels chatter
back and forth
as children laugh
in tune with
the ice cream vendor's
cheerful chime
and the world sighs
with a contented relief

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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Comments

China Blue

You have captured the awakening from the surge of storms very aptly
Chrys

Candlewitch

Thank you for reading and commenting on this assignment :) I found it a fun experiment.

always, Cat

Nordic cloud

This is definitely auditory, well done Cat.
My sister and I were playing in my great aunt's garden when
we heard an enormous boom-like explosion, this was repeated,
we immediately thought of the very large ice cream man,
with his motorbike and ice cream, and we roared with laughter
at the thought of him exploding!! We rolled down the sloping lawns
and couldn't stop. Each time we visited our aunt, at certain times of day,
this happened, so I can't read about the ice cream man
without smiling from ear to ear! And that was SOUND.

Still laughing after 67 years!!!!Nordic cloud.

S

Very good. Other things could have been water related such as last drops of water dripping from a tree or the declining murmur of runn-off in a ditch. Go ahead and gather further comment then start deciding whether to do your rewrite in same or different type imagery...............stan PS hope your recovery is going well

Geezer

that a blind man could see the scene through his ears! Well done!