PROMISCUITY'S PRICE ( THE EPIC )

A poem in rhyming couplets ( I think )

The chicken farmer almost cried
when his last good rooster died

Without a cock to breed his hens
he'd go broke and lose his friends

So he called ROOSTERS- R- US
but their reply just made him cuss

They had just sold their last one
to his cousin's nephew's son

What the heck was he to do
without a bird to see him through ?

After much worry and thought
he said, "The farmers' jockey lot !".....................(an outdoor flea market)

They sell about everything there
from produce to stuffed Teddy bear

So he jumped into his pick-up truck
and headed there trusting to luck

He searched both inside and out
then saw a sight that made him shout

A man sitting on a tail gate
had a white rooster in a crate !

When looking closely in the cage
he beheld a cock of advanced age

The bird's head hadn't any hair
and his beak had no teeth there

He told the seller, "I won't nag ya
this bird's so old he'll need Viagra !"

The seller said, "Don't worry,see."
"This old rooster has a guarantee."

"Here's my phone number and my name
in case this cock's pecker turns lame."

"Just call me up and I'll come there
refund your money too, I swear."

Well, the farmer didn't have much choice
in being swayed by siren's voice

He sat the bird on passenger seat
and beat a hasty type retreat

On the trip back to the chicken farm
he told the rooster, "I mean no harm."

"But you are getting pretty old
so pace yourself, don't be too bold."

"To take your time would be no sin."
the rooster just sat with a sly grin

Back at home in time for lunch
stepping on gravel with a crunch

He bade rooster to make self at home
(We're midway in this lengthy tome)

Running loose were all types of fowl
guineas,turkeys,geese, ducks and owl

The farmer went inside to dine
thinking all would be just fine

When he came back out the door
his jaw almost hit the floor

As he looked around his yard
all female fowl looked ridden hard

All hen birds were satisfied
and the old white rooster he soon spied

Standing looking smug and proud
"You old fool !"the farmer shouted loud

I'll put you in the hen house now
before you try to breed the cow

Don't be foolish but instead
cease copulating 'fore you end up dead

The rooster grinned as he was tossed
on him moderation seemed lost

The farmer slammed the hen coop door
went to a field to work some more

Mid afternoon he paused to think
I could really use a nice cold drink

And check on how that rooster's doing
hopefully he's slowed his screwing

So he rode his tractor to the house
where all was quiet as a mouse

He noticed all the hens were quiet
none of their common clucking riot

He opened coop's door to take a peek
200 hens worn out with smile on beak

A new hole knocked into the wall
of rooster, not a trace at all

"Well," he thought, "you silly beast
you could have listened some at least."

"But now you have crawled off and died
I'll go and get my tea inside."

He mounted his tractor from the right
then saw a far off speck of white

Not moving even the least bit
the farmer thought,"Well that's the sh^t !"

So he drove the tractor over there
the rooster lay with feet in air

"You should have listened but instead
you over did it now you're dead !"

But wait ! The bird opened one eye
said, "Shush !" and pointed to the sky

Gestured to birds circling above
" I'm about to sample buzzard love !"