The horizon is far
yet not distant enough,
We surf our ways across the seas,
we fly over sand dunes
and
surpass all eventualities…
None is brave enough,
to place a boulder
nor a hand upon our shoulder,
to prevent our movement
from darkness to light
We are the torch bearers
of a midnight storm
We can create history
and
in reverie slumber,
those who thought
they were upper most,
down the cliffs of no return ,
lost in the dungeons of everlasting misery
rotting beneath the great fallen tree
Unheard! So be it.
Comments
This is good.
This is good.
A boulder on our shoulder?- a little contrived poetically too.
Do we wish to be prevented from the light?
A little unclear in meaning in places.
The title is great.
Ann.
Thanks ma'am for the vist
Could you kindly suggest a better clarity?
In the portions constrained
As you say
What I want to say is
Like in Solomon and Delilah,
the slaves were made to pull stones,
Which we want others to avoid
weakening our knees,
As we seek to emerge
from the darkness to enlightenment
I am not clever enough to
I am not clever enough to understand what you mean, I rarely understand what you mean, sorry. Ann
I'm sorry and
sad .
On rereading I find this just
On rereading I find this just right as it is. Ann.
You humble me ma'am
Thanks
It is really wonderful
for my teary eyes,
to note that my ma'am
has paid so many visits
It catches
anyone's eye
hopefully
uplifting it for those who can't dive deep within
the fathoms of poetric volumes
flown down the stream..
as having been written
a has been
An interesting and exceptional work
culled away from the more expressive of your works
Vanguard ones I would call those
and there is nothing wrong with Titillating
But this one has a more serious drop zone feel
about it without it pandering into too moody
a piece of to be set aside as a forewarning work
"boulder shoulder.."
"Unheard so be it"
I really like these lines worked into the work
it has a nice classic feel to it
there is just enough of that tension in it
Thank You
gracious
you version of my work
makes me feel
like I'm a real poet
albeit a hobbyist at best..
Thanks ...this poem has been already transformed
into cards by someone
as GREETINGS
Loved
You see that the Poem you have edited and let resurface is very good,
I have read it a couple of times and find it has a few meanings, mostley of your fears and other things but that is poetry..
It is late young Bard so will just say great work, Yours Ian.T
thanks Ian ... my true and honest friend
regards