Eduardo Cruz

Jan 22, 2012

This poem is part of the workshop:

More Meter

(Read More...)

Description:

Leader: Jess (weirdelf)
Moderator(s): Beauregard, Geezer, Wesley Snow

Objectives: To get meter inside our heads and make it easy.

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter:
More Meter

In the last meter workshop we compared iambic meter with trochaic and had a quick look at anapaestic. This time we will start with a discussion on meter and each participant's experience/knowledge of it. The workshop activities will be tailored to each persons needs and development.

Only two things are not open to argument. We will use classic meter terminology, it is not hard and it is useful. And critique of each others submissions are considered as important as your own submissions.

OK, to get the ball rolling I will give the briefest possible description I can of meter.

Meter is the rhythm of poetry as determined by the way words are pronounced normally in English, this does allow for regional and dialect variations. Meter is not about counting syllables, it is about counting Feet. A foot is two or three syllables of which one is stressed. The repetition of feet creates meter. The number of feet per line defines the metric form.

The most common forms of feet are Iambic, Anapestic, Trochaic And Dactylic and we will discuss them all.

The number of feet per line are named with Greek numeric prefixes (monometer, dimeter, etc.). We will go up to five feet per line (pentameter).

Just about everyone has heard of Iambic Pentameter. It has been popular since Shakespeare and Chaucer. Iambic Pentameter is a line of five iambs
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM

To join please PM me or Beauregard

Enough for now. Let's talk! In the following discussion important points about content and style will be raised. Contribute your thoughts, ideas and questions.

FIRST ACTIVITIES.

For those who have never consciously written in meter before-

Write up to 14 lines of Iambic Pentameter.
Do NOT rhyme.
Choose a topic that is not emotional, personal or profound, merely descriptive. This will free up your word choice.

For those who have consciously written in meter before-

Write up to 14 lines of Trochaic Pentameter.
Do NOT rhyme.
Allow variations including Dactylic and strong and weak lines.
Choose a topic that is not emotional, personal or profound, merely descriptive. This will free up your word choice.

From the Toolbar click Workshop>Submit a poem.

Copy or type in your poem. Scroll to the bottom of the screen and above the Preview button you will see a Workshop droplist. Click this and select More Meter. Then preview and save as normal.

PLEASE READ THE SYLLABUS, THE DISCUSSION AND ALL MESSAGES CAREFULLY

This workshop is closed.

Hurt, Pain, and Truth - more meter

To think the pain that comes is felt to learn
To stand the pain I bare the truth of hurt
To know the hurt I learn to take its truth
To break the threat of hurt I check my pain
To void the hurt I know before it comes
I learn to track the signs of hurt in time
I break its press before it writes the hurt
I think I know the signs although I’m blind
I look to read the pain of thoughts inside
I lose the train of thought when pain arrives

A waste of time to try to stop the hurt
To start to know is just a step in time
The thought of pain is fact I will not hide
To feel the hurt is just a truth of fact

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I think I got it.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda

Comments

I'll let some others comment before I parse this

Unless someone kindly does it for me.

waiting

for the pain of truth

I'll ask everyone to use the parsing method I do,

I've found it's the easiest and clearest by trial and error.

1. Select Advanced Formatting
2. Only then paste in the poem or it loses formatting
3. Go through and select each stressed syllable and hit Ctrl B to make it bold.
4. Then go through and add the '/'s to separate the Feet

To think the pain that comes is felt to learn
To think/ the pain/ that comes/ is felt/ to learn [Iambic Pentameter!]

Mark,

This line is what I hear and see, but I didn't realize it till you said it.
"This is the perfect "bouncing ball" excercise."
I going after the next meter, now that I got this one with Jess and Wes help.

thanks Mark I appreciate your comment!
Eddie
...

/To think/ the pain/ that

/To think/ the pain/ that comes/ is felt/ to learn/
To stand/ the pain/ I bare/ the truth/ of hurt/
To know/ the hurt/ I learn/ to take/ its truth/
To break/ the threat/ of hurt/ I check/ my pain/
To void/ the hurt/ I know/ before/ it comes/
I learn/ to track/ the signs/ of hurt/ in time/
I break/ its press/ before/ it writes/ the hurt/
I think/ I know/ the signs/ although/ I’m blind/
I look/ to read/ the pain/ of thoughts/ inside/
I lose/ the train/ of thought/ when pain/ arrives/

A waste/ of time/ to try/ to stop/ the hurt/
To start/ to know/ is just/ a step/ in time/
The thought/ of pain/ is fact/ I will/ not hide/
To feel/ the hurt. is just/ a truth/ of fact/

p.s.

Wow, Eddie! You are getting so good at meter! The ease with which you write is eniyable! Great poem, too!

always, Cat

Cat,

I thanks you for your generous comment and for parsing the poem by foot. I think we are all learning something useful here. thanks to Professor Jess. hahaha! inside Joke to Jess.

Eddie

hi Eddie

As far as I can tell, Cat broke this down perfectly. All seems to me to be iambic pentameter (which of course reads a bit forced here and there......hardly possible Not to seem that way in a write of any length when maintaining same foot count) Very good sample for the shop................stan

Stan,

I thank you, but forced it was not. It is what's inside of me concerning private issue. everything I write in this shop is about me it makes it easier than trying to make-up a poem. i write in this shop what i know, the darkness that lives inside. like when I first came here I only wrote dark poetry. now i've learn the light but it for me harder to create something that's not there. I march on in the light. for now I will write in the dark

But this is iambic pentameter

Eddie

truth and hurt and fact

you use effective repetition to write a solemn truth.

I like this poem very much, meter perfect.

Sometimes simple statements of fact make for the best poetry.

Jess,

thank you very much, your words are appreciated, coming from a leader an mendor of mine in this workshop.

Eddie
...