George Washington once said he couldn't lie
then Abe Lincoln announced his honesty,
each President has since claimed they were, too
the only thing twas shared by all were lies.
~
I must admit a voter can cause change
or else at worse can shine a light to all,
that with a government that always lies
we'd better all unite or else we're doomed.
~
Widely not a recommended topic
political discussions do go sour,
we all must try and be good examples
by showing we won't compromise the truth.
Comments
Doc,
politic's is always a danger to write about, because of views.
i did find it interesting that some how you stuck to the rules given by Jess. but still to me some of the stress points seems forced so is to keep within the perameter of pantemeter.
But what do I know, I am just an observer at this point in the game.
Thanks, Eddie
...
No rhyme!
It makes a man bleed inside.
I'm going to assume that this is predominately iambic pentameter.
So the second line gives me trouble.
The extra word at the front ("then") allows me to accent Abe, but then forces me to not accent the first syllable of "Lincoln" which doesn't work.
The meter is comfortable until the beginning of your third stanza where you ask me to accent the second syllable of "widely". This then makes the rest of the line problematic.
Then here is how I scan the third-
"we all/ must try/ and be/ good ex/am/ples" I have always pronounced "examples" with an accent on the second syllable, so this throws it out of kilter for me. I don't have a problem with the catalectic (hanging) syllable at the end, but the meter is not iambic.
Those are my picky thoughts. One more though.
Whoever told you that politics is a mundane subject never watched American presidential campaigns.
wesley
Just maybe....
...I have some weird accent, or speech impediment ! Here's how I thought it worked:
george WASH/ingTON/once SAID/he COULD/n't LIE
thenABE/lincON/anNOUNCED/his HON/esTY
eachPRES/iDENT/has SINCE/claimed THEY/were TOO
the ON/ly THING/was SHARED/by ALL/ were LIES.
Am I "off", still?
I DO comPLETly THANK you FOR your THOUGHTS!
doc.
Hi Doc,
I don't care too much for political poetry, but I must say that this hits the nail squarely on the head with it's truth. To often we sanitize our recollections of leaders past and present, and do not take them to task over their untruths.
Concerning meter...this is very good, to me. I always think that the stresses placed on words are interchangable, and I like the way you put this together, it's cadence is very strong.
I won't parse this, the other comments have covered it.
Well done!
Two very impoortant things to wathc out for in Iambic
Avoid untressed end syllables- honesty, examples
Avooid stress start syllables- I, we'd, widely, political,
This needs work.
George Washington once said he couldn't lie
then Abe Lincoln announced his honesty,
each President has since claimed they were, too
the only thing twas shared by all were lies.
~
I must admit a voter can cause change
or else at worse can shine a light to all,
that with a government that always lies
we'd better all unite or else we're doomed.
~
Widely not a recommended topic
political discussions do go sour,
we all must try and be good examples
by showing we won't compromise the truth.