It's Christmas day! I expect some snow.
Mother Nature responds grimly, "Oh no, no, no"
'Twas Christmas day. A harsh eighty degrees.
A beautiful day on the bright blue seas.
Sadly, it will not. The sun must tease.
Dec 25, 2011
It's Snowing, Not!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A poem I wrote because down in Florida it's eight degrees.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I like this more than your last two,
I notice you've used something like the limerick format, although lines 4 and 5 tend to be shorter.
I'm afraid it falls down a bit with the last line. Glow is really insipid and forced for the rhyme.
Perhaps you could re-write the whole last line for more impact with an idea along the lines of snow's foe, or even your feelings about it, oh woe.