raj
Nov 30, 2010

Dream Destination

Hope was in driver's seat
coursing on the subconscious freeway
dreaming to a pseudo destination
just beyond the stretch of imagination

Flashes of brilliance leading to a tunnel
"Park your bodies , let go of your final breath,
This way to Salvation"
proclaimed the Signage

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Wanted to add an element of mystery to the Title, hence changed it from "Hopefully" to "Destination X"

S

Much better driven by hope than despair. A good short poem.............scribbler

Race_9togo

This is a really good metaphor. And I love the tunnel imagery, that's just magic, especially for a long-commute driver like me, heehee.

And I agree with Scribbler...better hope than despair in the driver's seat.

R

good to know you liked the use of the metaphor...thank you for your words...

warmly...

R

Thank you for your comment....as an amateur i use poetry as a means of unwinding and de-stressing from the daily routine....when it comes good (not always) and is appreciated by readers like you..it keeps me inspired to keep learning and evolving...which is why i find Neopoet a great workshop...

warmly...

R

i am happy to know you liked this one..thank you for the comment...

much love...

mand

mand

14 years 3 months ago

A very imaginative poem. I love the idea that

"hope is in the drivers seat.... dreaming to a pseudo destination
just beyond the stretch of imagination - headed for a dream destination.

Wonderful positivity.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

R

raj

14 years 3 months ago

thank you for your appreciative comment...

hope you have eased well into the New Year..

much love..