spinning top peace..
I had a spinning top once
believing it would spin forever
But as hard as I pushed
it always
stopped
so soon it never span again
as a child
I couldn’t understand
now I do
at last, peace
spinning top peace..
I had a spinning top once
believing it would spin forever
But as hard as I pushed
it always
stopped
so soon it never span again
as a child
I couldn’t understand
now I do
at last, peace
Last Few Words: Thinking of christmas and, presents of the past..
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Thank you,
Thank you, and yes the comma is a better idea. As i said in my final words, i was looking at presents of today and started thinking of presents of the past. The spinning top came to mind and i was thinking how we tried as youngsters to see who could spin it the longest. And thought it was a bit like life. Again thank you for your time and comments. Regards Roscoe..
topsy-turvey
Thought - provoking write, Roscoe. Life's frustrations encapsulated in a child's toy. One point, though, is "span" the word to use? not "spun"?
Regards
Ian