Geremia
Geremia
Nov 15, 2011

DAY'S END--LAST UPDATE Nov. 23

DAY’S END

The minutes are heavy and long
and I begin to fall into those dark places
where there is no dreaming.

the wars go on.
and am losing to inevitability.
my spirit is beginning to break .
my walls are crashing down.

my soul if that is what I feel
kneels to disbelief.
my reason seeks the bliss of madness.
my heart clings to illusion

there is no peace.
I struggle to find a way
but the minutes are heavy and long
and nothing of me will be left
at the end of today

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Comments

the_fool

great read, but could possibly use a little polishing. some of the capitalization is inconsistent and the imagery is a bit light in the last S. the body has a great tempo and the intro spot on. good read here!

Roscoe Lane

Oh how wrong you are, for all of us there is our writing now. No one will be able to say we didn't do it. Nice poem Regards Roscoe....

Geezer

Geezer

13 years 5 months ago

very good, Joe. Maybe the last lines could be:

There will be no peace
I try to pass the time, but...
the minutes are heavy and long.
No shadow of me, will be left at nightfall.

Just a thought, ~ Gee

wesley snow

... I approach your poetry cautiously. However, most of what you write has such evocative language I find myself enjoying the poetry in spite of my usual sensibilities. This poem though gave me a problem your others have not. The reasons for the poet's distress is inferred, but so esoterically I feel left out. What troubles the narrator so that the end of the day is such catastrophe?
This is, of course, merely my perspective, but despite the language the poem gives too little. I cannot be with it, for I have no cause for the anguish. Am I missing something or is the obscurity the point?
wesley