We are an individual entity
So we have the key.
A damned hard one
With which, we can knock and open.
Such a key, you have taken charge of,
Though a bit too late
Yet I assure you, now no swine
Without permission, can enter your gate
Dogs are not allowed
Now tell them so
Since you are yourself, hence,
As a new life, now you commence.
Comments
My take on this...
Seems you had something to say, but I must be honest, I feel this poem need some work. Major.
First, the punctuation. Please read this poem as you will want it to be read. Where you pause, put a coma. When you try to "explain" another thought, use a semi-colon. If you mean to start another thread of thought, use a full stop.
Without punctuation, a poem is hard to read. It is like water in a shapeless container. We see it, read it, know what it is, but cannot guess what it should be like.
Do not assume that at the end of every line comes a natural pause. Be explicit in your punctuation. use parentheses if you have to. Shelley did, and it was marvelous.
Then, it'll be best to leave a little note so we know how to approach the poem. The title is often not enough
So kind of you
I shall endeavour as so rightly pointed out
Thank you
I shall redo as suggested shortly
Thanks
I am an open book
I compose off my mind ,
as you all know ,
I am not much of a seasoned poet
A scientist whose hobby is,
to compose extempore ,off the cuff
Thanks Rosi ,
you are kind,
like Shirley was to me .
Happy reading