themoonman

Nov 08, 2011

To the World

One wants romance, another needs to fight,
those two want religion, and me;
I just want to fly
overhead and drop the bomb on you
packed in hemorrhaged wordings
revealing all our nasty little habits.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

How,

How i wish it was so, to show to the world the mess we humans create. Maybe if we saw how bad we were, well maybe not, but we can hope. Short and straight to the point, good poem. Regards Roscoe...

Thank you Sir, if only ehh ... I think as poets it's our job to write
the songs, bang the gongs, be the fly on the wall of every single
wrong, but we are all part of the same bunch of good and bad
apples, ironic isn't it.

thanks

Richard

where we shall

hide till the unexploded bomb
does not explode
in the doldrums of time
or
the garbage bin
of eternity

Look around Loved,

there are explosions every minute or so,
it's just that we've been trained not to hear them.

Richard

so nice to know

explosions occur all over
day and night
the deaf and blind
are blessed

Hello Rosi ...

I'm glad you got so much out of this, actually more than
I meant, but I love it. Thank you for the word spelling, and
I didn't even have to look it up because Wes did, I knew mine
was right though, because I spelled it wrong and spell check
corrected it for me (I'd be lost without it)

thanks

Richard

Actually Rosi,

both spellings are appropriate. I had never seen your spelling of the word, so I hit the dictionary and found both.
Moonman, this is a tight, angry little thing. I like it. wesley

at times i spell

Colour and they say,
Colur
Some say color.

I ask them,
Have you understood,
I meant the rainbows constitution,
And
They queried from which generation
And
I replied,
Both X and Y,
Then they were silenced.

Such is the world,
Don’t take it lying down always,
Try standing variations too

Hi Wes,

Thank you Sir, I'm very glad you liked it and I appreciate
your time in looking the spelling up, thank you much.

Richard

OUCH!

Hey Richard, You are right on top of the game! I like it much!

always, Cat

Hi Cat,

Well that's different, the game is usually on top (lol)

thank you Cat,

Richard

My kind of poem, dig it.

Would only suggest a couple of extra line breaks-

One wants romance,
another needs to fight,
those two want religion,
and me;

might add a little more punch, not that it needs it.

Thanks Jess,

I believe I'll use your idea ... appreciate it my friend.

Nothing better than love

Nothing better than love bombs. It reveals much dear moon-man.

Richard...

as Roscoe Llane said: short and straight to the point.
I love how you manage to say so much with so little.
this is a strong write from the first to the last line. I am so happy to be reading you again, Mr. Moonman...
love always,
your Proprietress :)

Obscure

I have read a large number of your poems and I'm afraid I find them mostly obscure. This may well be due to my limitations as a reader, but perhaps you could make more concessions to people like me.
Best wishes,
Robert.

Hi Robert,

I'd be glad to answer any questions you
have. Obscure; adjective, not discovered
or known about, uncertain
Verb; keep from being seen, conceal

This poem is obscure to you? I'm not sure
what you mean but would be glad to explain
the poem if that will help.

The poem;

To the world; (entire world but with
only a few pointed out)

one wants romance (like so many do),
another needs to fight (like so many do),
those two want religion (world is full of them)
and me; I just want to write poems packed
with fiery truths about each and every one of us,
revealing our nasty little selves to our brothers and
sisters from all over the globe.

that's pretty much the gist of the poem.

O.K.

I get the idea. It was the last three lines I didn't really get. I'd had a few beers, which didn't help. I'll go over other poems of yours I've read and see if I understand them on a second, more sober reading.
Best wishes,
Robert.

Robert,

Reading poetry

I do in fact read a lot of poetry, not least at Poemhunter and Neopoet, but I am a little impatient and if I don't understand much on a first reading I tend to give up. Does poetry have to be complicated? Some of the greatest poems I've ever read are quite clear and simple. Why don't we agree that poetry can be either difficult or easy to understand, and I just happen to prefer the latter.
Best wishes,
Robert.

I hated most poetry, Robert

the way it was taught me at school. My most passionate hate was WH Auden., who seemed to need a degree in the classics to comprehend. I adore really straightforward verse, like the Beats and the Merseys. However some poetry does require deep contemplation, metaphor and references or other great writings or classic or modern popular culture culture are necessary.

In a recent workshop not one person understood what the poem was about, even though it was well written and sounded great.

Use this as a basis of criticism of yourself and others. If the reader can't understand it, what is the fucking point?

Hey Richard

Few words but much sustenance! We are surely headed for oblivion like a greased luge on an ice hill, and your poem tells it in spades!

Hey Lonnie,

We are indeed and taking those slopes together,
look out for the pile up.