moon dance
dark heavens
hold soft petite
intermittant clouds
moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurely aside
revealing
the silver white
of a copious orb
low in the sky
seemingly
almost within
loving reach
I want to claim it
as my own
as I waltz
to the tune
the moon has inspired
within my soul
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Cat
Awsome, a fabulous use of voculary.
Love the whole thing.
love Louise
Dear Louise,
Thanks for your read and support.
love, Cat
extraordinary ! A whirling
extraordinary ! A whirling dance of words and images.
joe
Thanks Joe! Your comment is
Thanks Joe! Your comment is appreciated.
always, Cat
Dearest Cat
this creates a sublime image and mood of a soul in peace...i loved its feel...
Dear Raj,
Thank you. My words do indeed reflect my inner being :)
always, Cat
Hey there Rosi!
It would be my pleasure to dance with you! Thank you for the comment and the dance!
Love, Cat
Hi Cat
a smooth effortless read..............stan
"Copious orb"
"moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurly aside
revealing..."
moving
float......!
revealing
the rhythm wouldn't be disturbed by the ING.
..the silver white of A copious orb
personally I don't like the "loving reach" another word for loving.
I like the ending.
liesurEly.
I like the "Copious orb" sometimes it appears so extra large.
Ann.
Dear Ann
Thank you for reading and suggesting changes. I have utilized most of them. I can't think of a change for "loving" at the moment, but I will work on it. I'm terrible at spelling and I wish neo had a spell checker for our posts. I'm glad you liked the ending.
always, Cat