Those brooding eyes and tensed brow had mystery
Questions need answers, and She was curious
With a slow dance of seduction, she bound him,
made him a prisoner
He smiled and endured for a score of years
She never figured out, what his mystery was
Losing interest long ago
Left alone in his cell of despair, he plotted...
Coils of cold, slithered in to wrap around his soul
There were lies in the mirror; he heard them whispering
Eyes followed him wherever he went, and he knew...
The world conspired against him
Released by her boredom, he made plans
Performing Arcane spells and rites
Smoke appeared with each wave of his hands
Sparks flew into the night
Careful digging with a spade
Sacrifice and votives burned
Evil visited and promises made
One lover's heart's not been spurned
Demons, ghosts, from life gone by
Don't run or they will chase you
The blindfold taken from my eyes
Now I see you true
See the pain of my misery, dear
It is over now, it's true
Now you should begin to fear
For what I will do to you
Comments
Dear Sir Gee,
This poem is just too delicious! I cannot pick favorite lines as they all are wonderfully menacing. Good title and the lines just flow one to the next. Good smooth rhyming pattern, too!
always love your dark side, Cat
Thank you...
I liked how it came out, but wasn't sure how it was going set with the reader. I'm glad that my two most faithful critics liked it so much. As it started out, it was meant to be freeform all the way through, but as it progressed, it just seemed naturally to evolve into the rhyming mode. Thanks again, ~ Gee
Coils of cold, slithered in to wrap around his soul
There were lies in the mirror; he heard them whispering
Eyes followed him wherever he went, and he knew...
The world conspired against him
is a poem alone. Seems you may have picked something up from the last workshop? Actually, like Cat said, it's all good. I wonder if you noticed yourself, or planned, that it tightened up structurally as it progressed, becoming more ritual in nature, like a spell? Fuckin' creepy man!
Great job.
I am so glad...
that it was so well recieved. I did not plan it the way that it came about, but as it progressed, it just seemed to be the way to go. I noticed that it was evolving, or maybe devolving to rhyme, and at first made an effort to get it back to the freeform that it started out to be, but it didn't seem right. It was a lot better with the rhyming than without it. I wasn't sure if it would be the same for the reader, but in the end, decided to go with my instinct. I guess that maybe I did get something that stuck with me on an un-conscious level. It was as creepy as I wanted, and that was planned! Thanks, ~ Gee
Hi Gee,
I came to read again... Really liked these lines:
Careful digging with a spade
Sacrifice and votives burned
Evil visited and promises made
One lover's heart's not been spurned
always, eddy
I'm flattered...
that you and the others think that this is good enough to read twice. I figured that those lines would be your favorites. You always pick the lines that have to do with witchcraft! I'm glad that I made them intriquing for you. ~ Gee
wonderful
a delicious read
Superb
on a second read
superb really
.......................See the pain of my misery, dear
It is over now, it's true
Now you should begin to fear
For what I will do to you
Thank you...
Loved. I have tried to invoke a modern sense of the poet that has influenced me the most in my macabre
way of writing. Poe! I love the old Machivillian stories that he wrote. ~ Gee
Got to,
Got to agree with all the above and then some, great poem. Regards Roscoe...