Come, lets sit here on the sand
of this impoundment's shore.
The gulls and geese can be our band,
who could ask for any more ?
We'll set our chairs on water's edge
and in cool water dip our feet,
watch boats troll for catfish past the ledge
in, this the last of summer's heat.
As we recline on eastern side
the evening air so slowly cools;
sun's reflection from the water, wide
covers surface with rhinestone jewels.
At last the sun hits distant trees,
water smooths like liquid mercury.
While a loon the evening time decries
I notice that you look toward me.
Yes I know it's time to go
to hearth and home we must repair.
Let's wait a moment even so
and these last few quiet moments share.
Comments
Simply
simply beautiful
no less no more
lets enjoy
the few last wiffs
for some time
just to be sure!
lake
just another one I dusted off. Thank you...................scribbler
It almost ...
seemed as though I was watching a scene from On Golden Pond! We have a pond like that not too far away. Sometimes me and the wife go fishing, and it looks just as you describe. Very nice work, although I would try to use a different word than surface the second time around. [Maybe water?] Even so, it left an image in my mind, and I guess that is what we all try to do. Thanks for sharing that moment with us. ~ Gee
lake
thank you and thanks for catching the repetition of surface....................................stan
lake
snow!!.....brrrrrrr. Thanks for the visit.........stan
Scribbler
Gotta agree with Geezer : this reminded me too of "On Golden Pond". Beautifully descriptive.
Separately, I noticed and appreciated your use of a fairly classical rhyming scheme: ABAB.
Unusual for this site, in my limited experience...
Good work
Psyve
lake
I gotta get around to seeing that move some day lol. I guess I use that rhyme scheme in about 25-30% of my stuff............scribbler
Hey Stan
Another stunner!! Wish I had been there. One of those magical moments that you want to last forever!
Brilliant poem full of lovely imagery.
Love Mand xxxxxxx
lake
I reckon I get it right every once in a while lol. Thanks for the visit and kind comment.............stan
lake
I was surprised when I caught a catfish in salt water, there are apparently species that live in each. Think I'll delete 2nd comma. As to dredging I equated it with trolling to keep rhyme but welcome suggestions..........scribbler
As and So
I kind of like as and so when used right. But I am taking your advice on second as and replacing it.............scribbler
lake
This new site still has me a bit messed up. Especially with exclamation and question marks ( commas are just me doing a typo ) it seems they're too close to end of lines without a space. I know "to in " is not as correct as into but it seems to make poem flow a bit better to me. As always, good to hear from you and get those corrections................stan
Very nice
Stan I almost shed a tear here on this one you did. I found it to be most reflective in imagery and thought. Great job my friend.
Love Mona
xoxo
lake
Not sure if driving you to tears is a good thing lol. Thanks for the visit and comment...........stan
just one more moment
if we can just hold on for one more moment. holding on to the dream as long as we can. nice write my friend :)
lake
there are rare moments which we wish could just last longer. Thanks for your kind comment..............scribbler
By the way
By the way
Which lake
I’m not quite sure
Do you live ashore?
Does your Lake Have?
A beach like ours
Do tell me once more
I’d like to meet
You across the lake
Only if you do
A pun at me
Once again
Retake/remake?
lake
I live on a small pond, but the lake I refer to here is nearby Hartwell lake. A 50,000 acre lake on the Savannah river between Georgia and South Carolina..............scribbler