Dreamer

A dreamer

That’s all I’ll ever be

Give me a day

I’ll dream a Sea.

Consumed by fantasy

Within me is a place I’d rather be

Yet I live a life that isn’t me

Interested in nothing

Fearing nothing

There is no one I’d rather be

Family and friends think they understand me

I see life as a tree

A cycle of constant velocity

The norms of society, don’t apply to me

I desire to go about it differently.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: VIR

Favorite Poets: “Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet

Comments

I like the poem and relate to it.

Ephraim was right, you should change 'doesn't' to 'don't'.

The lines-
I see life as a tree,
A cycle of constant velocity.
seem to me to lack internal logic. Trees and velocity? Only when they've been chopped down mate. I suspect you fell victim to rhyme.

But a good poem.

Thanks Guys

Glad you liked it. I will make the appropriate changes. Yeah Weirdelf, your right I fell victim to the rhyme there,lol. As you may have recognized, i'm new to the poetry thing. Its a hobby I picked up a couple years ago. A pity the old neopoet site crashed, lost a few of my work. However Xena, i think i'll take you up on that. The time i have is limited but we can work something out

Cheers,

Hello,

I read and enjoyed your poem. Especially these lines:

I see life as a tree

A cycle of constant velocity

The norms of society, don’t apply to me

I desire to go about it differently.

always, Cat

Glad you liked it

Realy? Those are my favorite lines as well. And Rosi, thanks for the help, I will apply that style for my other poems as well.

Cheers