I have a cat
upon a mat
that is too fat
and that…is not salubrious.
It eats the rat
and eats the bat
and leaves the scat
and that…is downright tedious.
Its charm is flat
for such a brat
and will not chat
and that…is just discourteous.
So time this prat
became a hat
that I shall pat
on head and that is surely the end of this small poem.
(prat- buttocks [slang])
Assonance and Consonance
The subject is the crux of writing's rub.
To find a thing distinguished, idiotic,
profound or hollow worthy of the poem
is fundamental and the hardest walk.
That first step unconstrued, misunderstood
will leave the lonely poet lost in muse.
One need but note the evidence evinced
by this bleak, boring botch of training drill.
Argh.
Comments
Wes ...
It does rhyme, sort of a boring rhyme scheme except for the
"ous" words at the four line mark (which I think I'd put a space
at those, but ... ), and I've never heard the term "prat", seems
rather reaching to me. Not sure why you chose to end it the way
you did, seems you were going to make a dan'l boone cat hat,
which is funny, but a little unclear.
Mind rhymes.
Of course the rhyme scheme you didn't like (boring) is a "repetitive rhyme scheme" (See Wordsworth). Anyway, the point was to use a particular type of rhyme and not necessarily write a really good poem. The last line in each stanza is a "mind rhyme". The line is to run to a point where the reader desires to think in his/her head a particular rhyme and be cheated of it. In this case- "and that is that." The last line was taking it to an extreme. The double rhymes stealing the mind rhymes was because I daren't not rhyme a lime...uh, line. wesley
Deleted sir
deleted as desired
Wes
I found the rhyme scheme rather simple, but that just makes the whole poem that much funnier!
I like the way you've broken up the rhythym with the longer lines, without REALLY breaking up the rhythm!
Good one, and I can tell just by reading it that you know your stuff when it comes to rhyme.
Prat
It's not my word. It's just an old slang term that means someone's backside. So...it was time to turn the cat's ass into a hat. Mostly it was just to use three different kinds of rhyme in one poem. wesley
So...
...it looks like the etymology is correct. I investigated a strict definition (backside) and slang turns it into asshole. Works for me. wesley
yes the word is very commonly used in Britain
but not the way you used it. They call someone a prat, not use it as a part of the body. I'm just talking common usage here.
so the lines-
So time its prat
became a hat
could be
This cat's a prat
will be a hat
That would make sense with Richards headgear idea.
I found the whole piece delightfully clever
really stretching the -at rhyme,
the mind rhymes clever double weak rhymes
and the final grotesque rhyme.
Elegantly done, good sir!
My favourite grotesque rhyme, learned as a smutty schoolboy-
Asshole
Asshole
A soldier I will be
To piss
To piss
Two pistols at my knee
Fuck you
Fuck you
For curiousity
I'll fight for the old cunt
I'll fight for the old cunt
Fight for the old country
Rather amusing use...
of three different schemes. I agree, that the object was to exhibit different ones, but not with the idea that they didn't have to be good. LOL. ~ Gee
learning should be fun
it is never the intention in technical workshops like meter and rhyme to write great poetry. It's playing to learn some tools to take away to use when they feel right.
I would have been happy with lists. To play with it and make something clever and amusing as well is a bonus.
Let's see what you can do Gee, stretching the rhyme styles, not the profundity.
Okay, I'm late, but here it is...
...and I'm not happy about it. However, that means I'm broaching new ground and Jess is succeeding in shaking my tree.
Rhymes
You hit all the rhymes I believe you were intending.The way they are written in this poem makes the poem a bit hard to read as it confuses the flow.
Boy, no kidding.
What a mess. wesley
Why did I delete
deleted in all earnestness
as it is out of context