Lonely planet, two inhabit the universe
Forging on the will to survive.
Indication of life amongst the remains
He discovers a loved one's grave
Making camp near by he keeps watch
Days pass, desolation resides.
He passes on, she passes by,
He has gone.
Eternal strangers, loneliness eating them alive
Each unaware of other.
Existing in parallel,
Live out there days alone,
Comments
Dear Lou,
Are you trying to make me cry? This is very sad and forlorn. I like it!
always, Cat
Cat
Not trying to make you cry specifically, but in general job done.
Thank you
Lou
Xena
A www shucks lol
Lou
hello lou
Making camp near by he keeps watch (nearby - one word)
Days pass, desolation resides. - awesome line lou...
Existing in parallel, - i really like this
Live out there days alone, (their)
a very powerful write lou -
love judy
Hi
Glad to see you. Thankyounforbreading and I'll make the corrections.
Lou
Had a little trouble with the last line.
Somehow the grammar doesn't quite work, but I'm hooked on the tale and wish you would expand the pieces. A lot is here and I want much more. Get crackin' (if I may be so bold). wesley
Wesley
I'll take a look at the last line, as far as expanding goes I think ill do that within a short story.
Thank you
Lou