scribbler
Sep 21, 2011

TIGER"S STRIPES

Hidden by false civility
teeth veiled by lips of greed
claws kept sheathed
during the stalk for
profit

The twinkle in those laughing eyes
the same as any predator's
when sizing up its quarry

Those who think that they're his friend
due to false mask of good will
are merely meat in waiting
ear-tagged future meals for him
when profit's hunger makes him drool
take care not to be his fool

So when you see him hunting halls
of banks, dealerships and shopping malls
avoid direct eye contact
for the tiger is...............
a tiger

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I tried writing this twice in rhyme. Sometimes a subject demands free verse I guess.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

13 years 7 months ago

you could have done it, but I like what you did anyway. Is the name of the tiger "Advertising"? LOL
This all hung together very smoothly, I thought that your language was fine and I was impressed with the way that you kept the theme recognisable from beginning to end. Great job, for an incorrigable rhymer! ~ Gee

Ladderwords

I want more vicious predator imagery for bankers and salesman! Mwahaha makes the peasant in me want to reach for his pitch fork.

S

I Did write it twice in rhyme, but was not satisfied as the rhymes seemed forced and the rhythm was way off. Thanks for the visit.......stan

S

Always good to see an unfamiliar face. I'll probably revisit this later with an expanded rhyming version if I can get it to come out right.................stan

S

You're right, the corporate hunger for money is never satisfied. Thanks for the visit...........stan

M

In your tank Stan or does that tank have a tiger in you? lol I have to come back to this one. Tripped up a bit for me. Come back when I can think better..

Mona