Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Sep 14, 2011

Irreparable (sorrow poem for emotions workshop)

Irreparable

sorrow poem for workshop

I dined upon chocolate falsehoods
dipped by my lover’s own hand
he composed for me tender missives
written on the a sandy white shore
swept clean away by the eventide
he came to my waiting bedside
a rosebud in his hand
filling my heart with hope and dreams
of a life I would never know
Enchanted me with stories of desire
transformed to broken promises of fancy's flight
he delivered to me a phantom kiss
it turned into a tiny seed
the seed became a baby
that neither cried nor stirred
he ripped it from my hungry arms
nevermore to return to me
he gave to me miseries untold
coloring the rest of my life
he took my youth spent it unwisely
threw it away for a prideful song
now I fill my days with letters
spun upon a spindle woven into words

About This Poem

Last Few Words: no use of the word sorrow.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

I dreampt this piece and woke up with it floating through my head. Truely! So I don't know if I can take full credit for it.

always, Cat

lou

lou

13 years 7 months ago

you poem puts mine to shame.

good stuff

lou

Candlewitch

"you poem puts mine to shame." NO WAY! You are an excellent writer!!!

always, Cat

R

raj

13 years 7 months ago

you have spun a great tale which transforms from love to hate to sorrow with the magic of your words..though it is sorrowful it is a poetic delight..

what is note worthy is that you have used the same structure and form for all poems posted in this workshop on emotions...

in the book Neopoet is planning to publish i suggest there be a section "poetic tales" and the likes of this poem should find a place in it...

much love and applause..

Candlewitch

This is a true story, about my first husband. At twenty-three he was to imature to be married. There was a second husband inbetween number 1 and steve. Number 2 was a cheater. Steve is wonderful and we have been married almost 30 years. Thank you for your supportive words. You fill me with confidence.

always, Cat

R

it's good to know that the clouds made way for sunshine ever since Steve stepped into your life...my best wishes to you guys....

Candlewitch

Thanks for the kindness, even though it is a little exagerated. You are a fine writer and teacher.

always, Cat