You have what I want
Tiny bites nip at my
Self control.
I need what you have
An ache cramps
My back.
Give it to me
Got have it,
It’s not yours.
You have what I want
Tiny bites nip at my
Self control.
I need what you have
An ache cramps
My back.
Give it to me
Got have it,
It’s not yours.
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lou
this poem can be perceived as one expressing "desire" but that is not listed in the workshop on emotions is it?...may be i perceived it in correctly....but i liked the mysterious factor in this...
Raj
Thank you I'll wait for some more input, before I change anything
Lou
Lou
please don't get me wrong..i didn't mean to suggest that you need to change anything...
Raj
don't worry i'm not offended. The idea is to change things .
Lou
Hehe
I'm always missing stuff out..
Lou
Dear Lou,
I'm impressed! You have expressed a couple of emotions with so few words!
always, Cat