When the world
Seems dead and gone
And the silence
Is all that prevails
On my lips I’ll taste
The richness of the soil
And nothing can be seen
When my eyes are closed
What then can I say
When my words
Are sealed away
Not in concrete or steel
In a place where memories
are never heard
swirling with those
That can't find a place.
Those that remain
Won't in time remember
How long I walked
Upon the earth
This moment is the only
Legacy I have
Tomorrow is not
Promised to me.
Not even these words
Will carry beyond
The few lips
That perchance might read
Comments
Eph
Very interesting that you changed a few words, and not the over all theme. Nice job, for me this is the most interesting thing of poetry. That someone else can see the same thing and tweak it here and there. I like your's alot, but then I like mine. I write as it comes out of my head, I try not to look at it to much. If I do I usually ruin it.
Thanks Buddy for the taking of your time and truly investing in my write. It is appreciated.
Eddie
Lonnie,
My friend, I thank you for your generous comment.
Eddie
Dear Eddie,
most profound! A good interspective. Just one small suggestion:
And the silent’s
(and the silence)
always, Cat
Cat,
Thank you for the eagle eye. I have made the correction.
I do appreciate it.
Eddie
Lonnie,
Again Thank you, you know you've been here already. so thanks for the second visit.
Eddie