What were they looking for?
When they built at Babel
Wanted that which was illusive
Common aim in many languages
Turned out a confusing exploit
Thus standing in shallow places
They looked up the towers
Today is not different
Like the days of Babel
Corporate men in suits
Some sit on the podium
Boasting to have been chosen
And ordained in bonded faith
Talking of restricted liberty
Lacking the extended height
Of a free-thinking world
Aug 23, 2011
BONDED LIBERTY
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
very interesting
very interesting
Your point is clear.
Babel was destroyed by a patriarchal propertarian god to destroy collectivism.
The Corporate men in suits have the same goal.
Turned out a confusing exploit. No it's not. The goal is clear. The people versus the exploiters and their gods.