Hobart, 19th of July, 1824: Alexander Pierce muses while awaiting the gallows

First off, in the title, Pierce, Pearce.

Summary; I believe you are attempting to posture more of
a conscience than Pearce may have actually had, in my research
of the man, his last words were " Man's flesh is delicious, much better
than fish or pork" ... but, he may have been suffering from nightmares,
so I'll put that up as poetic license.

Sonnet; I won't pretend to be any sort of expert on the form, I have tried
them, and I know that many modern poets have written them without meter.
Yours does possess the music of language, even though the language is
written in attempt to portray the language of that time, it does deliver, for the
most part. One line in particular I stumbled on, or word actually, is "privy", to
me it doesn't make sense there.

Next thing for me is in the final stanza, where did the "we" come from, doesn't
seem to coincide with my research, of course you may be privy to more than
I've found, but after the pool is finished I'd like to know.

Your last two lines, the summation, I felt a space before them would set them
apart and add to the flavor of being a sonnet, also, why the hyphen, jarring
and isn't needed.

An enjoyable piece to read and research, I thank you for posting!

Richard

Did protagonist have a tapeworm? That would explain all the we's lol. I well understand the difficulty in maintaining a perfect rhyme when using a complicated scheme but still keep tripping over the "scream-redeemed" miss. "in sleep I perspired and screamed" would tighten it up or anything to maintain tense......stan

I loathe using the terminology "nice poem" or "good piece" particularly in a workshop of this nature. That having been said, I will attempt to substantiate my comment!
You have set the tone and brought us exactly up to that point in time that the protagonist looks back retrospectively, on how he got to that place. Good metaphor, 'alien children', one that many a 'deserter of a parent, would be able to relate to. This metaphor is reinforced by the reference to "the wives we had forgot" would prefer to see the correct past tense used, despite altering the rhyme. I found the attempt to rhyme, too forced and artificial, abeit and attempt to write in 'the historical period' mode.
"We returned to alien children
and wives we had forgot,
homes submersed in rot."
Following up on Richard's comment, I understand the use of the word "privy" has to do with the term "privy to the fact" and by abbreviating it, you may well lose some of its' meaning and leave the reader baffled. The intended (?)meaning, if read as such, is indeed ingenius.
These women would not soften
privy that we picked dead men
from our teeth:
THey knew his guilt and were not about to assuage his murderous crimes. This is all the more reinforced by the resultant nightmares the protagonist must endure.
These men will not forgive us,
in sleep we sweat and scream
in nightmares our time we bide.
Strong closure of this theme in the last lines. Just threw me a bit the use of 'Your guts". Shouldn't it be "our" ? i.e. reflective pronoun?
My final comment is that I found the title a little too elaborate and burdensome. More of an introduction to prose or a historical observation and not poetic enough. Just my personal preference I imagine. Hope that gives you some added insights.
Regards
Boni

Just putting something here to get this back toward top of stream lol

When you told me you attempting a sonnet in anapestic tetrameter I almost said "Why make life so hard on yourself, go for iambic or trochaic".
But you have achieved something far superior.
This is almost like anglo-saxon poetry. There are two lines that are cumbersome, you don't need me to point them out, then add a little alliteration or assonance and I think you'll have a masterpiece on your hands.

Here you go, back to stream top lol............stan PS come on folks! lets get back to commenting

I'd like to hear your response with your intent for this piece.

Then back to the Deep Analysis page for final feedback?
ta.

I like your style but I'll have to get back to you on the technique. I certainly like the use of olde language and you whet my desire to look up this person "Alexander Pierce". A fine effort John

As I know relatively nothing about poetic forms and formulaes, I can only ask what is wrong with using the words forgotten and begotten?

I quite admire a vanishing art, so to speak. The bygone days when these forms were the poems of their heyday.

I also like to gain new information...it is a good thing we do not imprison folks for stealing shoes, although we imprison them into poverty by various modern schemes. I digress, once again.

~A

This poem made me think of poor Mary Wade and Jane Whiting aboard the "Lady Juliana" I love poems with a base in history. Its what I try to do myself sometimes.

John