prechorus:
sleepless nights
my memories return to you
haunting me
every time a show is through
Ears still ringing
head still hurting as I lay in bed
from the crowd and all the singing
that keeps running through my sleepless head
Too many empty wasted years
of too many clubs and bars
and far too many shots and beers
in front of the drums and loud guitars
chorus:
sleepless nights
bloodshot eyes
rocking nights
exhausted days
Spent my whole life sweating, giving
to the bottomless and heartless takers
who never even pay a decent living
while I compete with all the fakers
But now I gotta get some sleep
'cause early comes the day-time job
working for a money grubbing creep
who only knows and cares to rob
So I close my burning smoke filled eyes
trying not to think of you
and hope that you don't still despise
this man you once thought that you knew
chorus:
sleepless nights
my memories come back to you
haunting me
each time that the show is through
not sure if poetry or lyrics but tend toward song lyrics
Comments
Both.
Both but i'd love to hear it set to music, i think it would make a terrific song. Regards Roscoe...
Hi Roscoe
Thanks. Maybe I could try playing a kazoo lol........stan
Stan
Stan,
as previously mentioned, drop in a chorus and you'll be on the right path towards a lyric. We can discuss the technicalities of building in a bridge and a pre-chorus later,
regards,
HS
hi
Will edit with an attempted chorus Sat. evening. I thought bridges were for teeth and creeks lol.......stan
Spotted
and noted. You are on the way friend. Really like this one. I can not do a decent crit right now as I am unable to sit here long. Just a retweak to lessen up some word usage for flow that is about it. I definetly hear the song in it.
Goodness gracious Charlie Brown:)
Mona
xox
hello
You know ol' try anything once lol. I'm gonna work on it a bit more. Get ye healthy.........stan
Hi Rose
Glad to help recall days of youth. Your life can still be what you make of it, You know..........stan
Stan
the grind of the day followed by rewinding the day .. sleep eluding neatly depicted in this write...
Hi raj
Never been on stage( other than as part of a choir) but tried to capture the feeling of a lead singer in a band. Thanks for visiting.........stan
Stan
Stan,
nice job with the chorus, perfectly weighted.
regards,
HS
thanks
Have now added a pre and post chorus (if that's what they're called lol). ........stan
Like mine...
we need to hear the melody to know just how smooth the rhythm is. Song lyrics.
hi wes
This is meant to be delivered in an old rock and roll manner. It might be that attempts at song should be posted in spoken word so the "beat can be supplied by the writer........stan
I think the recording should be sung...
if there is a melody to sing. But that would just be for fun. It would be neat to hear some poet's musical leanings. I know there are song writers among NeoPoet. If I can get my voice half way together from the smoking I will let you suffer through the sound just so you can hear what I think is a very pretty melody.
Sung?
Not likely to hear me try to sing lol.I suspect my voice is likely to sound like a cross between fingernails on a chalk board and a bullfrog farting lmao.............stan
Mine is not so hot these days.
I studied the art from nine years old to about seventeen or eighteen. Thirty years of heavy drinking takes its toll however. I'm working on some exercises. I'd like to do it for Rula.