scribbler
Jul 17, 2011

A PERFECT DAY

We'll walk along the warm wet sand
and watch the sand fleas disappear
on the Myrtle Beach grand strand
the way we did one bygone year

With gulls filling the clear blue sky
with mobile white and raucous laughter
buzzing us as we passed by
on our way to ever after

I'm sure we were among a crowd
beyond the dunes where sea oats grew
and certainly the surf was loud
but I only saw and just heard you

We'll return there one fine day
and smell the ocean in the air
and carefree on the warm sands lay
while sunlight plays on your soft hair

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

time spent with loved ones, whether pet or human, is to be treasured. And thanks for eagle eye lol..........stan

Candlewitch

A beautiful love poem. My favorite lines:

I'm sure we were among a crowd
beyond the dunes where sea oats grew
and certainly the surf was loud
but I only saw and just heard you

any woman would adore these words, just for her.

always, Cat